What Is a Beige Flag in Dating (& Why Is TikTok Obsessed with the Concept)?

Devyn Simone is a matchmaker and dating expert who is Tinder’s resident relationship expert. As a matchmaker and dating coach, Simone has interviewed more than two thousand singles as well as hundreds of happy couples to gain a deeper understanding of what unique challenges all of us face when we are dating in the age of technology and our new post-pandemic normal. Over the years she has analyzed that data and has developed a collection of best practices, tips, and easy-to-use formulas that help those dating with purpose find meaningful relationships.

You’re probably familiar with the concept of red flags and green flags, or dealbreakers and dealmakers in a relationship. (A red flag could be someone who’s rude to waiters at a restaurant, while a green flag could be someone who is comfortable talking about their feelings.) According to Simone, “Beige flags are traits or habits that make you side-eye your partner.” She says the term describes quirky habits that aren’t necessarily dealbreakers, but they aren’t exactly something you’re seeking out in a romantic partner either. In other words, it’s the same lukewarm feeling you might have about the color beige.

Beige flags are neither good nor bad, they’re just something to note. On TikTok, beige flags we’ve seen range from a boyfriend who lowers his voice a little every time he goes through a drive-through (and is in complete denial about it) to a woman’s fiancé disliking silence during dinner so much that “he’ll Google ‘couples questions’ or ‘relationship quiz’ and ask me the most random yet intimate questions in a room full of people as if we’re in our own world.” (Some folks are even sharing their own beige flags, like a guy who fake proposes to his girlfriend every time they ask someone to take their picture.) While many beige flags are interesting, other online commentary has disparaged them as simply showing a person is uninteresting.

Why Have Beige Flags Become So Popular?

Simone tells us that the beige flag trend, which is particularly popular on TikTok, is related to the ick trend on the social media platform. (Though not an actual affliction or diagnosis, it’s widely agreed that ‘the ick’ happens when you have a viscerally repulsed reaction to something the person you’re dating does. It’s like a turn-off that’s dialed up by 11.) As for why the beige flag trend and others continue to sprout up, she says, “These trends continue to evolve because they can be relatable, lighthearted and [offer] a way for people to commiserate and feel connected online. Naturally, we all want to share our thoughts and opinions, and even beyond that, there’s a desire from young singles to be upfront about dating habits and expectations so time isn’t being wasted.”

She notes that trends like sharing beige flags and dating icks are so popular because they’re something everyone can join in on and relate to since everyone has their quirks. She’s even seen more people sharing their own beige flags in their Tinder profiles, “and this makes for a fun, light-hearted way to strike up conversation with potential matches and gives other users insights into who you are as a person.”

So go ahead and wave your beige flags high—even if you set timers instead of alarms every night. After all, a beige flag is better than a red one.