The Invisible String Theory Is Trending, But Here’s What Everyone’s Getting Wrong

Last summer, Remi met Ben at a party she hadn’t planned on attending. It was one of those rooftop gatherings with too much beer, empty tequila bottles and enough ‘creative strategists’ to fill a marketing firm. She was standing by the cooler, fishing for a Bud Light, when she overheard a voice that stopped her. It sounded so familiar, like someone she definitely went to college with. But when she turned around, she couldn’t quite place the face. He was just a guy in a faded Mets hat holding court about how Barbenheimer “will be studied in branding courses for the next 50 years.” She snorted—out loud, apparently—because a second later, he turned to her and said, “What, you disagree?”

Fast forward an hour and the pair were perched on an overturned milk crate, deep in conversation. And the strange part wasn’t just that she liked him—especially with this crowd. It was that, still, she couldn’t shake the feeling that she’d met him before. “Wait,” he said, narrowing his eyes. “Do you live in 4F?” She did. “I’m 4G,” he smirked. And that was only the beginning.

They’d apparently lived across the hall from each other for the better part of a year. And then she discovered that they both grew up in Westchester, two towns apart. They used to go to the same house parties in high school—the ones with jungle juice in Gatorade coolers and moms who were just glad the kids were safe. He’d even been in the same frat as her cousin at Syracuse. 

This, friends, is what TikTok would call the “Invisible String Theory” at work.

The Invisible String Theory is the idea that you’re already connected to your person—romantically, spiritually, emotionally—but the universe won’t allow you to meet (or make it work) until the timing’s right. It stems from an East Asian folklore tale called the Red Thread of Fate, which says two people who are meant to be together are tied by an invisible string, often looped around their pinkies. The thread can stretch, tangle, fray—but it won’t break. It’s a comforting thought, especially if you’ve recently been dumped by someone who said, “I just don’t have the capacity right now.”

Still, Invisible String Theory has been floating around the internet for years. But it really took off after Taylor Swift dropped her Folklore album in 2020. Her song, “Invisible String,” is a reflection of how every ex, every almost, every emotional detour somehow led her to the right person. So of course, TikTok ran with it. The app is now brimming with couples posting side-by-side montages—“We lived three blocks apart in college and didn’t meet until our friends dragged us to the same bar at 27!” The stories are sweet, the captions are earnest, and the soundtracks are always either Folklore or Lana Del Rey. 

And don’t get me wrong—I love a rom-com moment as much as the next person. But I don’t think this theory is about soulmates. Not for me, anyway. Instead, I see it as a reminder to pay attention to what’s in front of you. Because the Invisible String isn’t about some woo-woo cosmic connection (though, sure, bumping into your childhood neighbor at a bar makes for a great story). It’s about being ready when life hands you something good—and recognizing it when it does.

That’s the part we don’t talk about enough. We love to romanticize timing when it ends with a chase-through-the-airport reunion. But timing doesn’t just reunite long-lost lovers. It also exposes what isn’t working—the people who can’t meet you where you are, the relationships that leave you anxious, confused or feeling like you’re constantly auditioning for love. And that’s the real subtext of this theory: You are in charge of your invisible string. If the thread you’re holding onto is unraveling, maybe it’s time to reach for the rope that’s pulling you toward something (someone) better.

Was it a sign from the universe that Remi and Ben were meant to meet on that rooftop? Maybe. But it was also the result of both parties being present enough to recognize what was right in front of them. They weren’t clinging to past relationships or chasing someone who wasn’t meant for them. They were able to meet each other exactly where they were. And that’s something all singles can embrace—whether you believe in invisible strings or not.

So, to me, the invisible string isn’t just tied to a soulmate. It’s tied to you, too. It’s there to help guide you toward what feels right, whether that’s a relationship, a friendship or a version of yourself who knows when to walk away. And while relationships are all about timing, you don’t need to wait for signs from the universe. Invisible strings may lead you to a long-lost crush from high school, but perspective—paying attention to what’s in front of you—is what’ll get you a date with them in the first place.

In the end, an invisible string doesn’t just lead to someone else. It leads you back to yourself.