I Like Having Sex on the First Date—Here’s Why

You know when something is so good, you don’t want it to end? That’s how I feel about really great first dates—I like to skip the awkward doorstep moment and go straight to the bedroom. Maybe that makes me impulsive and kinky, but I stopped following the three-to-five-date rule a long time ago. Having sex on the first date makes me feel liberated, and contrary to popular belief, it’s never bitten me in the back. Allow me to explain.

For as long as I can remember, having sex on the first date was considered a big no-no. “Don’t do it,” most people say. “He’s not going to take you seriously if you give it up so easily.” I took this advice to heart and, when I started dating, I would make sure I’d seen a guy at least four times before even thinking about going there.

Then, right after I turned 21, I went on a very spontaneous yet very romantic date on the beach with a guy I had just met, and I reconsidered my approach. As day turned to night (and did not involve drugs or alcohol I might add), we talked about our interests, childhoods and life goals. And the next thing I knew, we were passionately making out and feeling each other up—he even had his hands in my bra at one point. In other words, it was getting hot and heavy. Still, we were outside (in public), so I knew we had to keep it relatively PG. But deep down, I wanted to keep going.

“Screw the patriarchal BS that says sex on a first date is ‘the worst thing you can do,’” I told myself. So, when he asked me if I wanted to go back to his room, I said “yes”…and I never looked back. It was singlehandedly one of the most epic nights of my life, and we ended up being in a happy relationship for two years and even ended on good terms. He never made me feel weird about giving it up so quickly, and I never felt ashamed for doing it. If anything, I felt liberated and less stressed than usual after a first date. I had gone for what I wanted, and it was awesome.

Cutting to the chase has even saved me from getting in too deep with guys I wasn’t sexually compatible with. After all, the only thing worse than having lousy sex on the first date is having lousy sex on the fifth. Just look at Charlotte York from Sex and the City. In the famous scene in season three where she’s seconds away from walking down the aisle, she pulls Carrie aside and tells her that Trey (the man she’s about to marry) couldn’t get it up the night before. “I just should’ve slept with him on the first date!” she exclaims. While she ended up going through with the wedding, their sex life (or lack thereof) took a toll on their relationship. And, this kind of sex hiccup happens in real life all the time.

So, I’ll leave you with this: If you’re ever on a first date and want to go all the way, but are nervous about how it’ll make you look or how they’ll view the relationship, just quiet your mind and go for it. Because TBH, with the right person, it won’t (and shouldn’t) matter.