The Absolute Sexiest Thing You Can Do with Your Spouse (Especially If You’ve Been Together Forever)

When you first got together with your one and only, it was like fireworks. You two could barely keep your hands off each other and vowed to never become one of those couples that have to schedule in sexy time. But fast-forward a couple years later and, well, here you are.

First of all: Relax—it’s totally normal for things to slow down over time. (And thank God—who has the stamina to keep that up?) But that doesn’t mean resigning yourself to ho-hum sex for the rest of your life.

Health and sexuality writer August McLaughlin is here to help with her book Girl Boner: The Good Girl’s Guide to Sexual Empowerment. There’s plenty of interesting material in there worth perusing (including different positions and how to experiment with toys). One of our favorite tips? Have an affair with your partner.

It's all too easy to just do the same old, same old. But trying something new (like meeting up at a bar after work and flirting) keeps things exciting and fresh.

Here’s how to do it: Think of your partner as someone you’ve just started an affair with (and not the guy you once saw puke his guts out after housing three street cart hot dogs in two minutes). The aim for both of you is to seduce one another. So, if that means dressing up, go for it. Or maybe you want to get into the mood by sending suggestive texts throughout the day before your date. And definitely leave the talk about bills and childcare at the door.

“To put this idea into action, plan to meet at a public or private location besides your home,” McLaughlin suggests. “Take on different personas, and role-play as though you’re going on your first date, or meeting at a club or bar.”

Have fun, you crazy kids. (And for what it’s worth, there’s no shame in penciling “sexy time” in your Google Cal.)