The Best Movie Snacks, Ranked

23. Chips

Crunch, crunch, go away. We can’t hear the dialogue over your Cool Ranch Doritos. Is this why popcorn was invented?

22. Hot Dogs

Save it for the baseball game, when at least they’ve been sitting out for hours in fresh air. If you’re like us, you’ll have mustard down your shirt at the first jump scare. Or worse, you’ll make the whole theater smell like beef.

21. Ice Cream

There’s a time and a place. And this ain’t it. Haven’t you ever been to a movie before? The temperatures are already subarctic. Save the mint chip for dessert.

20. Raisinets

You’re not being virtuous, so move on. If you wanted to be healthy, you might as well have just packed a salad.

19. Milk Duds

It’s been fun, teeth. (At least you aren’t chocolate-covered raisins. We’ll give you that win.)

18. Nachos

Worst supporting actor: orange cheese. Also, remember what we said about chips? We literally can’t hear the feature presentation.

17. Sno-caps

Here we were thinking chocolate could do no wrong. Toss it in crunchy, flavorless nonpareils and you’re proving us wrong!

16. Pizza

A movie-going experience should really be void of smells. As much as we love a greasy slice, we implore you to save this one for any other time, please. (And don’t even get us started on meat lover’s.)

15. Gummy Bears

Usually amazing, but too much of a risk to eat in the dark. It’s pitch black. How can you tell if you’re reaching for a delicious red piece, or something more sinister? (Looking at you, pineapple ones...)

14. Sweet Tarts

Glorified chalk. Points for being scentless and almost silent. (We still see you, hot dogs and chips.)

13. Sour Patch Kids

Would be higher if not for the orange ones. Also, dare we say it? Too sour.

12. Twizzlers

Neither here nor there. We suppose you could do much, much worse. (See numbers 23 through 13.) Don’t even try us with that black licorice, though.

11. Junior Mints

Kinda like that classic movie that everyone loves (but you) so you pretend to love it, too, to fit in. Even though, deep down, you’d rather be eating toothpaste.

10. Skittles

Props if you make it through the previews without dumping the entire bag straight into your face. Even more props if you successfully pick out the only good flavors (red and purple) by the glow of the movie screen.

9. Soft Pretzels

Like a processed-carbohydrate hug. A salty one. That makes absolutely no sound when eaten in public.

8. Reese’s Pieces

Any form of Reese’s, really. The pieces win points for being small enough to pack in our mouth all at once.

7. Sour Patch Watermelons

These count as fruit, yes? Because we’re eating the entire bag in one sitting. Probably before the movie starts, even.

6. M&Ms

Good. (But could be better. See number 5.)

5. Peanut M&Ms

Better. (Do you see where we’re going here?)

4. Peanut Butter M&Ms

Best. No questions at this time, please.

3. Cookie Dough Bites

Serious question: Why have we never bought these outside of a movie theater until now? Follow up question: Why is the size of the box inversely related to the number of bites?

2. Popcorn

As if we had a choice. It’s silent, salty and laden with fake butter. What more could you ask for?

1. Wine

We never said these had to be sold in the theaters. Thermoses were invented for a reason, people.