What Does It Mean to Soft Launch Your Relationship, According to a Dating Expert (& What If Your Partner Isn’t on Board)?

Soft Launch vs. Hard Launch: Which Is Best for You?

If a soft launch is a teaser on social media that you’re in a relationship, a hard launch is more of a "shout it from the rooftops" declaration that you're seeing someone. The difference lies in subtlety; with a soft launch, you're hinting at a relationship and with a hard launch you're saying it with your whole chest. It's entirely up to you which route you take—or if you take a route at all, I know couples who keep their private lives entirely off social media and that's totally fine, too. Deciding whether to soft or hard launch will largely come down to your existing online personality. Are you someone who shares every minute detail of your life with the internet? A hard launch might be more on-brand for you. If you're someone whose online presence is a bit more guarded and private, though, a gradual introduction might be more up your alley.

Why Has Soft Launching Become So Popular?

In Simone’s opinion, the reason behind this trend is two-fold. First and foremost, more and more people are meeting via dating apps. One of the main benefits of this, she says, is that they introduce you to people outside of your social circle and allow you to experience someone you likely never would have met. But because they are new to your world, “Bringing that person into your social circle can seem like an awkwardly formal experience. You may be uncertain about how your friends or family may respond to your new love—since this person is new to them too.” By soft launching, you can more gradually ease your new partner into your unknown-to-them world. Simone also says that fear of rejection plays a role here too. “Soft launching can be a good way to slowly introduce your new partner to your circle, it also can provide a feeling of protection in case that new relationship doesn’t work out long-term. You have fewer photo reminders of the person (and possibly fewer photos to erase) off your social media.”

1. It Lets You Take More Time to Figure Out How You Really Feel

You really like the person you're dating, but are you sure they're the one? Soft launching can be a healthy way to dip your toe into the waters of sharing your personal life and the fact that you're super happy right now without committing to "this is the person I'm going to be with forever, look at us."

2. It Can Be a More Natural Way of Introducing This Person to Your Social Circle

Anyone who's ever introduced their friends and family to a new person knows that Simone is right: Bringing a love interest into your social circle can feel awkwardly formal, whereas gradually easing your new partner into your world via little glimpses of your time together can feel more natural and organic.

3. It Can Help You Feel More Protected in Case Things Don't Work Out

As Simone points out, teasing your relationship can be a good way to protect your heart in the event that things don't work out with this particular person. If your IG feed is full of photos of the two of you smiling ecstatically with each other, if things go south, you're forced to stare at those reminders (before deleting them, if you so choose).

4. It Provides an Air of Mystery

OK, so this reason is kind of superficial, but if you're someone who prefers to have an air of mystery surrounding yourself (you live for drama, and I love that for you), a soft launch will pique interest in a way that I have a feeling you might enjoy.

5. It Can Quell Questions Over Your Relationship Status

Your brother and sister are both in long-term relationships and you're sick and tired of everyone at Thanksgiving dinner asking when you're going to bring a partner around. Soft launching a relationship online can quiet nosey family members or friends without giving them every little detail of your romantic life.

When to Soft Launch Your Relationship

As with any relationship timeline questions, the appropriate time to soft launch your relationship entirely varies based on your situation. This might depend on when your last relationship ended, how your friends and family have gotten along with past partners, how invested your are in your current relationship and more. Typically, soft launches happen after one to two months, but again, if you're feeling ready sooner—or want to wait longer—that is completely up to you.

The easiest way to soft launch a relationship online is to post a photo that features a sneak peek at part of their body. An accross-the-table food photo that shows their hands is an easy one, but you could also try a mirror selfie in which you can kind of see another person's leg just slightly out of frame.

One of the easiest ways to soft launch a relationship is to share photos of the two of you (perhaps cozying up next to each other) with other friends. People who know your core friend group will likely notice that one of these things is not like the other, and take the hint that the new addition is potentially a new love interest.

You know those Instagram photo dumps everyone loves to post every quarter or so? Those can be a good opportunity to slip a photo of you and your new love interest into without making it the main focus. This can be a partially-obscured mirror selfie of the two of you on slide eight of ten or, if you're feeling bolder, a full-on couple photo amidst a sea of other recent goings on.