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Could the Olive Theory Determine If Your Relationship Is Built to Last?

Is this just another silly TikTok fad?

olive theory of relationships
StefaNikolic/getty images

If there’s one thing TikTok loves—aside from delicious breakfast hacks and fun beauty tricks—it’s a silly, non-clinically studied way to measure the strength of a relationship, from the questionable (ahem, the orange peel theory) to the slightly more accurate (the bird test). Recently while doomscrolling, I came upon a video about the olive theory, a concept I’d heard of in passing but generally avoided due to my long-held distaste for the show How I Met Your Mother (stay with me). Is it accurate or bogus?

The olive theory is credited to first episode of the sitcom and is a general measure of compatibility in a relationship based on how much each party enjoys olives: If one person in a relationship loves olives and the other hates them, they’re a great match.

In the episode, Ted (Josh Radnor) says to Robin (Cobie Smulders) while on a first date, “The olive theory is based on my friends Marshall and Lily. He hates olives. She loves them. And in a weird way, that’s what makes them such a great couple. Perfect balance.”

Here’s where it gets tricky. [Spoiler alert incoming for a show that ended more than ten years ago.] Eventually, Barney (Neil Patrick Harris) reveals to Ted that Marshall doesn’t actually hate olives; he pretends to hate them because he knows Lily loves them, so any time there are olives on his plate he gives them to her. The olive theory, then, is more about one person in a couple giving up something they love because they want their partner to be happy. (Note: It’s very clear from TikTok that many users haven’t done this level of research, and stick to the initial definition of the theory, but who am I to judge leaning into a cute trend?)

Regardless of how you interpret the olive theory, here's the bottom line: This is a fun, albeit unscientific, way to measure compatibility—don’t put too much stock into whether you and your partner are doomed because you would both sell your souls to the devil for a dirty vodka martini with no fewer than three blue cheese olives. (Fight someone else on this, it’s a combination you can pry out of my cold, dead hands.)



sarah stiefvater

Wellness Director

  • Oversees wellness content
  • PureWow's resident book reviewer
  • Has worked in lifestyle media for 11 years