3 Zodiac Signs with Eldest Daughter Syndrome

Eldest daughters everywhere, I see you. Whether you were actually first in birth order or just have the personality of someone who was, it’s not easy being hyper-responsible and emotionally parentified. 

As an astrologer, it’s a real treat for me  when several members of the same family become my clients. Looking at charts of siblings reveal patterns and often show why one sibling had a happy childhood and the other was stressed out all the time. There are also markers that reveal the traits of what’s become known as Eldest Daughter Syndrome. People with hard Saturn-Moon aspects tend to be tough on those they love—and tougher on themselves. But there are also three signs of the zodiac who, no matter what the birth order, have major eldest daughter tendencies. Let’s get into it.

For reasons that were unclear to everyone in my family—but may have been related to some weird public access TV show I watched at my grandparents’ house—my favorite game to play as a child was called “Homework.” I’d sit at a self-assigned “desk” for hours “completing” “tasks,” scribbling on sheets of paper and checking off a to-do list. For some reason, I was desperate to have work to do. I’m not a Virgo, but this was Virgo behavior. Let’s be real, Virgos,  as the classic overachievers and fixers, are the guiltiest of eldest daughter syndrome. As the mutable Earth sign, Virgos are both practical and flexible. Always bending to meet everyone else’s needs. Virgos are sometimes called out for being overly analytical and not taking everyone’s emotions into account, but who has time for feelings when you’re the only one making sure that the family gets to the airport on time? Virgos were the kids making color-coded chore wheels for their siblings, who are now learning calligraphy to make the same chore wheels for their roommates. Next time you’re at your Virgo friend’s place, offer to do the dishes.

A few years ago, I spent Thanksgiving with my Capricorn bestie and her family. Though she’s technically the younger sibling, her older brother leaves much to be desired when it comes to carrying any family responsibilities. She’s the baby of the family, yet her role as the “adult in the room” has only gotten more pronounced as we’ve gotten older. This is because Capricorns are ruled by Saturn, the planet that, like a fine wine, gets better (and more responsible) with age. On that holiday, I watched my friend take control of the menu and the kitchen. She poured everyone’s drinks and even woke her older brother from a nap when it was time to eat. Capricorns are used to carrying their siblings’ (and parents’!) emotional baggage, but that doesn’t mean they should have to carry it alone. If you have a parentified Capricorn in your life, ask if she needs help with prep at her next dinner party.

This might be a controversial take but I’m almost positive that Meredith Morton, Sarah Jessica Parker’s character from The Family Stone, is a Cancer. Girl boss? Check. Very attached to her sister? Check. A need to be in charge of Christmas morning breakfast? Check. Cancers, who are always the caregiver and never the bride, thrive on emotionally managing their family’s chaos. Cancers are cardinal signs so they’re natural-born leaders, and as water signs, they’re also emotionally in tune. This is a deadly combination for eldest daughter types who find their own emotional regulation through being the boss.  In the climax of The Family Stone, all the order Meredith has so desperately cultivated falls to shambles. But she learns that if she just calms down and hangs with Luke Wilson, everything will be fine.

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