5 Things to Know Before Dating a Scorpio

So you just found out that your upcoming date isn’t just a cutie, he’s a Scorpio! Your chemistry is off the hook, but you’re nervous about how things are going to play out. Besides Geminis, Scorpios might have the most notorious reputation in the zodiac, but what’s it really like to get intimate with the fixed water sign? Here’s what you need to know before dating a Scorpio.

Many like to paint Scorpios as the world’s biggest enigmas, but there’s actually no sign who’s more blunt about their feelings. Ruled by Mars—the planet of direct action—Scorpios go after what they want, and they’re interested in winning, not in playing games. Small talk is also a Scorpio’s worst nightmare, so don’t be surprised if they open conversation on the first date by cutting straight to the deep stuff. Keeping things light with them is never a good sign. So, if you’re talking about the weather or what’s on TV, don’t expect a second date.

Though Scorpios tend to be more laid back or introverted in one-on-one situations, they can’t help but draw attention in public. Scorpios are natural leaders, instantly charming everyone they meet with their irresistible charisma. Despite this, they tend to downplay their work or career aspirations when you’re first getting to know them. Eventually you find out that they’re not only the boss at their day job, but they’re also running a few successful startup businesses on the side. “It was a joke at first, but it really caught on!” a Scorpio might say of their wildly popular Etsy shop or restaurant review app. Once you finally get the details on their career, it’s very important to support a Scorpio in all of their endeavors. Though they can be shy about asking for recognition, Scorpios love knowing they’ve made you proud.

No one does intimacy and vulnerability like a Scorpio. Though the sign is often conflated with transformation, Scorpios are actually obsessed with keeping up a steady, reliable routine. Scorpios want nothing more than to be a devoted, loyal partner and once they’re settled, it takes a lot for them to change their ways. Scorpios express their partnership needs through their opposite sign of Taurus, craving comfort, languorous days in bed and plenty of snacks to keep them satisfied. They also tend to stick to what they know (at first) in the bedroom, but are open to lots of experimentation with the right partner. This need for stability can also get in Scorpio’s way, allowing them to stay in relationships that are well past their expiration date because they’d rather not disturb the peace.

As mentioned, Scorpios are incredibly ambitious and tend to take on leadership roles wherever they go. They also have a very intense work ethic. Your Scorpio lover might have a bad habit of overscheduling themselves. On a typical day, they’re running straight from an overtime shift at work to picking up a friend at the airport. That said, when it’s time to unwind, no one can party like a Scorpio. Think: Teenage Dream era Katy Perry music videos as the ideal setting for a Scorpio night out (makes sense Perry’s a Scorpio!). If you’re less of a party animal (looking at you Taurus and Virgo who both really hit it off with Scorpios), one of your biggest relationship challenges might be finding more of a work/life balance rather than burning the candle at both ends.

Though Scorpios wear their heart on their sleeve, they don’t have an enigmatic reputation for no reason. With Libra being the sign that sits on their twelfth house (the unconscious part of the chart), Scorpios like to keep some of their Venusian pleasures to themselves. Once you two get closer, you might discover your Scorpio lover has a secret Real Housewives ritual, cooks gourmet meals from scratch in their spare time or has a pristine vintage record collection. It’s less that they were keeping this from you and more that they sometimes forget where their passion ends and they begin. “Oh, I thought you already knew that!” a Scorpio will say.