The Best Hinge Prompts to Use If You're Dating Over 40

Hinge prompts are meant to give prospective partners an idea of who you are, and though many of them are lighthearted and casual (like “A shower thought I recently had…”), others give you an opportunity to genuinely think about what you’re actually looking for—which is doubly important when you’re dating in your 40s. Use this prompt to focus on what you want out of a partner. Dating coach and breakup mentor Lindsay O’Brien previously told Executive Editor Dara Katz, “Dating at 40-plus means you’ve likely got some relationship experience. You may be tempted to put on your profile all the things you don’t want (like your ex’s codependent parents), but that comes across as negative, and you’ll find most people swiping past you. Instead, turn those negatives into a positive. For example, if you want to avoid emotionally unavailable men, say you’re looking for ‘a deep conversation partner.’ Positivity is always more attractive.” Your answer still doesn’t have to be super deep, but if you want to be with someone who is of the same faith or believes in saving the environment, this would be the place to express that.

In your 40s, there’s a good chance you’ve settled into a weekend routine that makes you happy and fulfilled. Are you a Sunday-morning go-getter or do you prefer to sleep until mid-afternoon? Being up front about what your typical weekend looks like is a quick way to see how compatible your schedules are right off the bat. (If you like sleeping in before a chill brunch and they want to get up at the crack of dawn for a long bike ride, you might be on different pages in other aspects of your lives, too.) Echoes O’Brien, “If you’re a homebody, don’t feel like you have to pretend to love hiking and travel. Say, ‘On weekends you’ll find me watching the latest Netflix drama with the best Chinese takeout in town.’ The purpose of dating is not to appeal to everyone but instead to find a partner who fits you. When you let who you are show on your profile, you’ll find a better match.”

Hardballing is in. Originally coined by Logan Ury, director of relationship science at Hinge, “Hardballing is a new dating term that means someone is being clear about their expectations of a relationship, whether you want a serious long-term partnership or a casual fling.” As O’Brien pointed out, while you shouldn’t make a habit of talking about what you don’t want in a relationship on a dating profile, you need to communicate what you do want. She says, “It’s easy to think playing it cool is the best way to find a partner but being clear about what you want is best. The dating pool over 40 is filled with casual daters, so save yourself time and heartbreak by weeding them out straight away and standing out to the relationship minded. A not-so serious way to say it is ‘looking for long-term love,’ or ‘I’m ready to settle down and build a life with someone.’”

On the flip side, not every Hinge prompt you answer has to be profound. Simple pleasures—treating yourself to a matcha latte after hot yoga, meditating every morning, the smell of freshly-cut grass—are incredibly important, because they can reveal the things that you value, like time alone, activities and personality. You want someone who will, at least, give you time and space to pursue these things, or, at best, want to do them with you.

Love languages are important no matter your age, but when you’re dating post-40, you’re likely more in touch with your own love language—and compatible love languages in others—than you were in your 20s. Knowing how someone receives and gives love allows you to meet them where they are, and because this deeper knowledge of yourself is a huge benefit of dating in your 40s, you should absolutely take advantage of this prompt.