Sadfishing Is the Latest Teen Mental Health Warning—Here’s What Parents Need to Know

Some examples of sadfishing-type content are short, ominous posts or images, long, drawn-out narratives detailing mental health or other struggles or cryptic messages which feel as if the creator is at risk. Sadfishing posts can vary from more mild content such as “I feel so lonely today,” “I don’t believe anyone really cares about me” or the posting of a “sad selfie,” to more concerning content such as posts suggesting the creator is experiencing a serious and chronic mental health struggle or even considering self-harm or suicide.

These are a few sadfishing examples that I use in presentations on this topic. (Note: The identifying information has been removed, and the people who posted were checked on by either myself or others and were/are safe.) Sometimes, sadfishing posts could necessitate a welfare check. So if someone sees a sadfishing post which causes them concern, it wouldn’t hurt to call or message the person for a brief check-in. Likewise, setting boundaries to avoid being drawn into an emotional trap and remembering to practice your own self-care skills and strategies when trying to support someone else is important.

Why do teens engage in sadfishing?

Attention-seeking and validation appear to be the primary motivators happening in the teenage brain. Other reasons suggested have been a user’s desire to try to control their narrative or “vibe,” cope with emotional pain or loneliness or harvest sympathy after an embarrassing event. Maybe they’re trying to lure back in someone who has abandoned, hurt, “ghosted” or ended a relationship with them. There is also the possibility that the sadfishing behavior is being caused by a legitimate mental health struggle or issue, which should not be ignored.

If a child had adopted sadfishing behaviors, then I believe parents/caregivers should absolutely consider:

1. Soliciting professional help from a licensed or credentialed therapist/expert.

2. First, talk to your child in a gentle, supportive and non-judgmental manner. Ask and listen; don’t talk, judge or act from the fear you may feel. And let them know you are unconditionally there to support whatever is going on with them.

3. If it feels as if they are open to talking, investigate what is going on; if something specific is causing the behavior, try to educate them about the potential negative consequences of sadfishing (such as attracting the wrong type of attention from predators and bullies, being judged by friends, potential employers and others in the position to offer opportunities now or in the future, reinforcing negative feelings, emotions and beliefs should they not receive the type of responses they desired).

4. Investigate potential social opportunities with healthy peers, situations, activities, clubs and hobbies.

5. Consider limiting their social media engagement or certain apps, while ensuring they are replaced with healthy support from either peers, social/interest activities or a professional.

6. Continue to supportively but gently check in with them, always practicing non-judgmental active listening.

When should I be worried about sadfishing?

If anyone, whether an adolescent, teen, young adult or even adult, appears to be engaging in chronic and concerning sadfishing–and especially if the content they are posting suggests any type of self-harm or other risky/dangerous behaviors–then I wouldn’t hesitate or wait to try investigating what is going on with them. Without reinforcing the unhealthy attention-seeking behavior or demonstrating over-reactive fear or worry, consider any of the suggestions offered above, beginning with trying to engage them in a supportive and non-judgmental conversation. Don’t not help just because it seems as if the teen or everyone else does. Because the motivation for sadfishing is often attention seeking, ignoring them could potentially cause the “sadfisher” to “up their game” or even act out due to feeling no one actually does care about them or responded to their cry for help. This could negatively–and dangerously–reinforce both unhealthy thoughts and behaviors, even if the actual goal was merely attention-seeking.