What to Text After a Second Date: 15 Lines That’ll Score You a Third—or Help You End Things

You’ve been on not one, but two dates with the same person. Sure, it sounds like no sweat, but with the state of online dating and weird TikTok relationship trends today, even making it to date two feels like you should’ve earned the Nobel Peace Prize. Now, you’re rolling out of bed after a night of salsa dancing, drinks at a rooftop bar and a sunset stroll—and you want more. You’re wondering what to text after the second date while navigating all the unspoken social mores. But you can’t deny you’re feeling a serious spark that’s threatening to overload into a jolt of electricity. (It helps that the man in question has fantasy football commissioner energy.) Or, you hoped for that spark…and you never saw a glimmer.

Either way, you’re left clutching your phone, silently willing a text to come through—and debating how to respond if it does. I’ve asked two relationship experts to share their tips for texting after the second date—and it turns out, there are five key types of texts to send. I’ll break them down, along with three examples for each one (yes, including how to end things if you realized the connection was just a stroke of limerence).

• Lindsay O’Brien is “The Real Love Alchemist,” a dating coach and breakup mentor specializing in helping her clients go from bad relationships to real love using subconscious healing modalities. Through her personal experience and energy work, she helps her clients break toxic relationship cycles and create their dream relationships.
• Shan Boodram is a certified sex educator and intimacy expert with a M.S. in Psychology. Boodram is Bumble’s sex and relationships expert, the host of The Marriage Pact on The Roku Channel, the host of the top podcast Lovers and Friends the workshop facilitator on Netflix's Too Hot to Handle, and the author of the best-selling book The Game of Desire. She is a member of the American Sexual Health Association and is based in Los Angeles.

Date one was magical. Date two is turning you into a soppy romantic. Great! Follow up—and don’t lollygag. O’Brien says the best practice is to send your text within 24 hours. “Any longer and your date might wonder if you’re interested,” she says.

Things you can say:

• “Loved seeing you again last night. Hope we can do it again soon.”
• “Thanks for hanging out yesterday! Are you up for another date in the next couple weeks?”
• “Yesterday was amazing. Let me know if you’re free next week; would love to do it again soon.”

Everyone wants appreciation and affirmation. If you enjoyed your time together, don’t be afraid to say so. “Let them know you had a great time and bring in something from the last date,” O’Brien advises. “Either an inside joke or a little quirk you like about them. If you’re the one initiating dates, now is the time to set up a third date.”

Things you can say:

• “Bowling with you was so fun! I’m really excited to see those karaoke skills in action you were telling me about. How about the bar downtown this Friday night? I’ll sing with you if we can do ‘Shallow.’”
• “I really loved our hike this week. Seeing you so excited when we got to the top was the cutest thing ever. Want to hike the trail by my place Sunday morning? I think you’ll really like the view.”
• “Strolling the waterfront together at sunset was incredible—thank you for suggesting the location! I know this great rooftop bar where the views *might* rival yesterday’s. Want to meet up there on Thursday evening?”

The beginning stages of a relationship can be fraught with questions—namely, how often you should be texting. O’Brien tells me that excessive texting isn’t necessary at this stage, but a follow-up text after the date to set up another one, plus a confirmation text the day before, should do the job.

“If you are interested in seeing this person again, it’s important to express genuine interest while keeping things light and open ended,” Boodram adds. “I recommend sending a text that acknowledges the great time you had and sets the intention that you’re thinking of seeing them again.”

That doesn’t mean you’re confined to a two-text limit; you can text more often if the conversation is naturally ongoing. “If it’s the right person, you really can’t mess it up,” O’Brien says.

Things you can say:

• “Really excited for our hike tomorrow. Does meeting up at 9 still work?”
• “Thanks for such a great night! That cocktail bar was amazing. Next week is pretty slammed for me, but I’d love to see you again if we can make it work, let me know what your week is looking like.”
• “This afternoon was amazing and I’d love to do it again. Are you free in the next week or two? I can be the one to plan something this time. 

Oh, yeah, making things *spicy* over here. Kidding! Kind of. Just like the universal need for appreciation and affirmation, everyone wants to feel admired. So, whether it’s their outfits or their laugh that leave you wanting more, now would be a good time to express that.  

Things you can say:

• “I couldn’t stop laughing last night! Your jokes are too good. Please let me know the deets on your stand-up show. I’ll definitely be there.”
• “You looked so cute in your bowtie yesterday. Hope to see more of your collection soon!”
• “You totally *dazzled* me on the dance floor last night. I’d love to take you out again.”

While it may be tempting to ghost, don’t! Unless, O’Brien says, your safety is at risk or your date was incredibly disrespectful. Otherwise, this is a natural part of the dating process, and it’s normal to need a few dates before you can determine how you feel about someone. When you’re ready, lay out how you’re feeling—per Boodram, honesty and kindness are key. “You don't owe a long explanation, but a respectful message can go a long way,” she says. And know that tying things up neatly is beneficial for everyone.

“This leaves you feeling good about doing the right thing and it closes the door energetically with this person, opening up your energy for someone you’re more aligned with,” O’Brien says.

Things you can say:

• “I really appreciated meeting up with you, but after thinking about it, I’m not feeling the connection I’m looking for. I wish you all the best.”
• “It’s been fun getting to know you, but I’m not feeling the chemistry I need to continue at this point. Best of luck out there.”
• “Thanks for the invite! That sounds fun, but tbh, I don’t feel the connection I’m looking for between us. I enjoyed getting to know you and wish you all the best.”