What Time Do Kids *Really* Go to Bed? We Surveyed 70 Parents to Get to the Cold, Bleary-Eyed Truth

Look, we all bend the truth when it comes to talking about our kids. (“Oh Johnny’s been potty trained for months,” a mom brags at the playground, neglecting to mention that little J still wears size 6 diapers for nighttime, naptime, trips to Target and when he’s playing Magna-Tiles).

And we’re not here to judge. But perhaps there’s no half truth more opaque or frustrating than what happens at bedtime. Because when your child is waking up at the crack of dawn, it’s especially grating to hear that your friend’s kid sleeps until 8 a.m. on the reg. And while you know that your 12-step bedtime routine for Olivia is a little extra, it’s pretty par for the course, right? Right??

That’s why we quizzed 70 parents with a combined total of 106 kids between them about what really goes down when the sun goes down. Our survey respondents came from all over the country from Fargo, North Dakota to Tyler, Texas and San Diego, California to Newton, Massachusetts. And the kids ranged in age too, from just a few months’ old to teenagers.

We wanted to know what time are kids going to bed, what time are they waking up (spoiler alert: too early) and what the hell does it take to get them to fall asleep in the first place. Here’s what we found.

Looking at the bar graph above, we see that the majority of kids (68 percent) are going to bed between 7 and 8 p.m., with a select few going to bed earlier (5 percent) and a decent amount going to bed later (27 percent).

But because it’s a well known fact that babies’ sleeping habits are totally bonkers, we filtered this group out to see what time kids ages 1 and up go to bed.

Looking at this new group of kids ages 1 and over, we see that the majority of kids are still going to bed between 7 and 8 p.m. (54 percent), however there are slightly more children hitting the hay after 8 p.m. (30 percent), with 20 percent of kids going to bed after 9 p.m.

But let’s break down the data even further. Here’s where each age group stands when it comes to bedtime:

• Between 6 and 7 p.m. (5 percent)
• Between 7 and 8 p.m. (66 percent)
• Between 8 and 9 pm (24 percent)
• Between 9 and 10 pm (5 percent)

• Between 7 and 8 p.m. (36 percent)
• Between 8 and 9 pm (29 percent)
• Between 9 and 10 pm (20 percent)
• After 10 pm (15 percent)

• Between 7:30 and 8 p.m. (23 percent)
• Between 8 and 9 pm (58 percent)
• Between 9 and 10 pm (9 percent)
• After 10 pm (10 percent)

• Between 9 and 10 p.m. (64 percent)
• Between 10 and 11 p.m. (23 percent)
• After 11 p.m. (13 percent)

That’s all well and good that most kids are going to bed between 7 and 8 p.m. but a decent bedtime doesn’t mean anything if they're up before the sun. So, what time do kids get up?

There’s no doubt about it—our kids hate us. Forty four percent of kids are waking up before 7 a.m. (Which is just too early, in our opinion.) A few lucky parents get to sleep in until 8 a.m. (8 percent), while some poor parents are getting up before 6 a.m. (5 percent).

Again, we wanted to see what kids were doing when we took babies out of the equation, but actually the results were pretty similar even in the ages 1 and up group.

Without the baby responses, we still see that a lot of kids are waking up before 7 a.m. (44 percent). Again, we broke down the data even further:

• Between 5 and 6 a.m. (3 percent)
• Between 6 and 7 a.m. (44 percent)
• Between 7 and 8 a.m. (42 percent)
• Between 8 and 9 am (11 percent)

• Between 5 and 6 a.m. (5 percent)
• Between 6 and 7 a.m. (21 percent)
• Between 7 and 8 a.m. (61 percent)
• Between 8 and 9 a.m. (13 percent)

• Between 6 and 7 a.m. (40 percent)
• Between 7 and 8 a.m. (60 percent)

• Between 6 and 7 a.m. (30 percent)
• Between 7 and 8 a.m. (70 percent)

So there you have it, apparently it doesn’t matter how old your kids are… they’re up bright and early. (Although thankfully things do seem to improve around age 4.)

Survey respondents were also asked to tell us what their bedtime routine consisted of, and here’s where things get interesting.

The bedtime routine ranged from quick and easy (“10 minutes: PJs, brush teeth, read a book, sound machine on, lights out, down in bed”) to elaborate 15-step routines that take over two hours (“We do dinner, bath, three books of her choosing, we go outside to say night night to the moon and stars, then precisely five songs, she lays down in her crib, three more songs with intermittent yawning and holding her hand, or sometimes my child tells me what all went on at daycare—she will literally do anything to keep the bedtime routine going. She then asks for milk, potty, socks, you name it. After all of this, it is approximately 8:15 p.m., and I tell her night night, love you. In total, our ritual takes two hours and is very extra, but it works”) to never-ending ones (“it takes forever”).

Most routines involved the standard bath or shower, brushing teeth (“We have to hold him down to get that toothbrush in there!”) and reading books, but there were also some surprisingly sweet rituals too (like calling grandparents, rubbing essential oil on the forehead and a long interaction with the family dog) plus a few more innovative bedtime tricks (“we put her blanket in the dryer while we brush teeth and read a book—she gets excited for the warm blanket and jumps straight into sleep position so it stays warm”).

Some parents lay with their kids while others make a quick exit before they can ask more questions. In fact, many, many parents complained that their kids were always trying to prolong the routine (“ask for water, ask for a snack, ask for another story, ask for...any distraction possible”).

And some pointed out that the routine depends on who’s doing it (“Once we’re in bed she usually says she needs to use the bathroom again…needs more water..needs a bandaid…then wants us to lay in her room until she falls asleep. Dad doesn’t, mom usually caves and does”).

Yes, and no. Our survey shows that most kids are going to bed between 7 and 8 p.m. and waking up between 6 and 7 a.m. But as the parent of two kids with sometimes great sleeping habits (out by 7:30 p.m. and asleep like angels for 12 hours) and sometimes god awful ones (refusing to go to sleep and then up again before sunrise), it was honestly comforting to see that most everyone has (sleep) problems. One mom with a child the same age as my son gets to sleep in until 8 a.m. every day, but her child goes to bed at 9:45 p.m. (there’s nothing wrong with that, but personally I value my evening grown-up time more… even if it means getting up at 6 a.m.).

That getting our kids to fall asleep and actually stay asleep is freakin’ exhausting. Now excuse me, after all that number crunching I think I need a nap.