The Tip: Tell your sons consistently that talking about feelings makes you strong, not weak.
Why It Works: Middle school boys are sponges for soaking up long-held, antiquated societal norms that discourage emotional expression. This can lead to stress, anxiety and difficulty forming healthy relationships.
Example: “I want you to know that the strongest people I know explore their feelings. So I got you a journal to write down your thoughts.”
The Tip: When someone (including other adults) asks your kid for hug and they don’t want to do it, support and enforce their decision.
Why It Helps: Insisting your kids show physical affection when they don’t want to can undermine their sense of control over their own body. Allowing children to choose how they greet others fosters a sense of autonomy and reinforces consent.
Example: Offer alternatives like, "Would you like to give Uncle Larry a hug, or would you prefer to wave hello?" If Uncle Larry gets weird, stand your ground. “No hugs! How your gout, Uncle Larry?”
The Tip: Say it often: “I’m proud of your strength and your values.”
Why It Helps: In the face of battles with self-esteem and confidence, consistent reminders of your daughter’s inner strength and the values she walks around with are crucial for young girls, especially during adolescence when they’re navigating new social hierarchies and ways to fit in.
Example: Replace "You look so pretty" with "I'm impressed with how hard you worked on your science project."
The Tip: Create a clear breakdown of your and your partner’s parenting responsibilities.
Why It Helps: Executive Editor Alexia Dellner wrote that “a recent study found that mothers were 1.4 times more likely to get a call from school than fathers.” Translation: moms carry the burden of the mental load—the sick days, the doctor appointments, the permission slips. It can lead to burnout and tension in the family. Easier said than done, but a little effort can go a long way.
Example: Pinpoint a pain point. If it’s fielding calls from daycare to come pick up a sick kid, tell your kid’s daycare that on Monday through Wednesday, dad is the one to call, while you’ll take Thursday and Friday.
The Tip: Be open and unashamed amongst colleagues about the fact that you’re a parent.
Why It Helps: Being a mother helps workers prepare for workplace challenges, but many workplaces view mothers as less devoted. If both mothers and fathers start parenting loudly and encouraging each other to do the same, we can normalize work-life balance realities and destigmatize what it means to be not only a working mom, but working parent.
Example: A colleague puts a 5 p.m. meeting on your calendar. You respond with: “I’m sorry, but I have to make my kid’s dinner at that time—can you meet earlier?”