The 15 Best Parenting Tips We’ve Discovered in the Last 15 Years

The Tip: Have the necessary conversations 

Why It Helps: Having a baby with someone is kind of a big deal and commitment filled with lots of surprises. Why add more not-so-fun surprises—like that your partner would like to raise your baby in his cult—to the mix?

Example: 

You: Wouldn’t it be cool if we hyphenated our last names?
Him: A baby and a wife must take the man’s name. That is how I will run my household.
You: Woof, glad I asked. I’m getting back on the apps. 

2. Put a “Maternity Leave Discussion” Meeting on Your Manager’s Calendar and Send an Agenda

The Tip: Before your maternity leave, engage in a candid discussion with your manager about your current performance and the transition plan.

Why It Helps: A proactive approach ensures clarity on your role and responsibilities, facilitating a smoother handover and return. Leaving loose threads unanswered or open-ended can lead to more anxiety upon your return (and you’re already dealing with a newborn!).

Example: Before you slap a meeting on your boss’s cal, say something via chat or in person (remember those days?), a la “Hey, I’d love to schedule some time with you to review my coverage plan and make sure we’re aligned. I’ll send along some questions ahead of time!”

3. Trust Your Instincts Amidst All the Trends

The Tip: While modern parenting “advice” (if we can call it that) is abundant, it's crucial to trust your own instincts and adapt strategies that resonate with you and your child—not necessarily what a rando TikToker is saying

Why It Helps: Relying solely on external advice can undermine your confidence; embracing your intuition fosters a more authentic and effective parenting approach

Example: Dr. Libby is saying that bribing toddlers is a major no-no, but you’ve found that the only way to get Phoenix into his car seat is by offering Goldfish. Dr. Libby’s not doing your carpool route. Use the Goldfish. 

4. Stop Your Toddler’s Whining By—Shocker—Validating Their Emotions 

The Tip: When a child begins to whine, acknowledge their feelings and guide them to express themselves.

Why It Helps: There are two things happening when your young child is whining. 1. They’re feeling a strong emotion. 2. They’re being really, really annoying. So, let’s isolate the strong emotion by validating it—no matter how silly it might seem that Gus is losing his sh*t over not having enough oatmeal in his Elmo bowl. This makes him feel understood, reducing the need for whining as a form of communication.

Example: 

Gus: [Through snot and tears] BUT I WANTED A LOT OF OATMEAL NOT A LITTLE.
You: [About to bang your head against the wall] I really want to understand what you’re trying to say, but it’s hard for me to understand when you’re whining. Can you try that again in your real voice?”
Gus: [Calming] I wanted A LOT of oatmeal. Not a little.
You: Oh! So, what do you do when you want something?
Gus: [Smiling] More oatmeal PLEASE!

The Tip: Instead of prompting children to "use their words" during emotional moments, help them identify and articulate their feelings.

Why It Helps: Children might not be ready to express themselves completely in words. This approach fosters emotional intelligence and provides children with tools to express themselves.

Example: 

You: I notice you're feeling frustrated. Can you tell me what's bothering you?
Kid: No.
You: What kind of colors are you feeling?
Kid: Red.

6. Get More Specific Than “Good Job”

The Tip: Use specific, positive phrases to acknowledge your child's efforts and achievements, fostering self-esteem and motivation.

Why It Helps: Affirming language reinforces desired behaviors and helps children internalize a positive self-image.

Example: “You worked really hard on that puzzle and completed it all by yourself! How do YOU feel about that?”

7. Ask About Recess

The Tip: PureWow Special Projects Director, Rachel Bowie, wrote that, when she asked her 6-year-old son about recess, his eyes lit up, and he started to dish on his day.

Why It Helps: Per Bowie, “It’s much more fun to discuss friend-related experiences than answering standard questions about routine activities and what they learned in school. (Just like how you’d rather tell your partner all about who said what at the company happy hour, rather than going over the details of your PowerPoint presentation.)” 

Example: “What games did you play at recess today?”

8. Use This 5-Word Phrase to Reassure Your Child

The Tip: Say, "I love being your parent" to reinforce your unconditional support and love.

Why It Helps: This phrase provides children with a deep sense of security, whether they're toddlers or teens.

Example: After a tough day at school, or after a tough day with the family, remind your child, "I love being your parent, no matter what."

9. Instill Confidence at Any Age with a Simple “I Have Faith in You”

The Tip: Kids, from toddlers to teens, need their parents to help them grow, but not grow for them.

Why It Helps: Writes Rachel Bowie: “Again, as parents, we don’t have all the answers. But a gentle reminder that we trust our children to make the right choices can be enough to help them persevere.”

Example:

Teen: I have so much homework, I’m not sure I can go to practice and Marnie’s birthday—but she’s gonna be mad at me.
You: What’s your gut telling you?
Teen: GEEZ, I don’t know!?
You: Well, I have faith in you to make the right decision for yourself. 

The Tip: Tell your sons consistently that talking about feelings makes you strong, not weak.

Why It Works: Middle school boys are sponges for soaking up long-held, antiquated societal norms that discourage emotional expression. This can lead to stress, anxiety and difficulty forming healthy relationships.

Example: “I want you to know that the strongest people I know explore their feelings. So I got you a journal to write down your thoughts.”

11. No One Needs to Give Anyone a Hug

The Tip: When someone (including other adults) asks your kid for hug and they don’t want to do it, support and enforce their decision.

Why It Helps: Insisting your kids show physical affection when they don’t want to can undermine their sense of control over their own body. Allowing children to choose how they greet others fosters a sense of autonomy and reinforces consent.

Example: Offer alternatives like, "Would you like to give Uncle Larry a hug, or would you prefer to wave hello?" If Uncle Larry gets weird, stand your ground. “No hugs! How your gout, Uncle Larry?”

12. Remind Your Tween Daughter About Her Inner Strength Over Her Outward Appearance

The Tip: Say it often: “I’m proud of your strength and your values.”

Why It Helps: In the face of battles with self-esteem and confidence, consistent reminders of your daughter’s inner strength and the values she walks around with are crucial for young girls, especially during adolescence when they’re navigating new social hierarchies and ways to fit in.

Example: Replace "You look so pretty" with "I'm impressed with how hard you worked on your science project."

13.  Try to Divvy Up the Mental Load Between Parents

The Tip: Create a clear breakdown of your and your partner’s parenting responsibilities.

Why It Helps: Executive Editor Alexia Dellner wrote that “a recent study found that mothers were 1.4 times more likely to get a call from school than fathers.” Translation: moms carry the burden of the mental load—the sick days, the doctor appointments, the permission slips. It can lead to burnout and tension in the family. Easier said than done, but a little effort can go a long way. 

Example: Pinpoint a pain point. If it’s fielding calls from daycare to come pick up a sick kid, tell your kid’s daycare that on Monday through Wednesday, dad is the one to call, while you’ll take Thursday and Friday. 

14. Parent Loudly at Work

The Tip: Be open and unashamed amongst colleagues about the fact that you’re a parent.

Why It Helps: Being a mother helps workers prepare for workplace challenges, but many workplaces view mothers as less devoted. If both mothers and fathers start parenting loudly and encouraging each other to do the same, we can normalize work-life balance realities and destigmatize what it means to be not only a working mom, but working parent.

Example: A colleague puts a 5 p.m. meeting on your calendar. You respond with: “I’m sorry, but I have to make my kid’s dinner at that time—can you meet earlier?”

The Tip: The cliches are true. The days are long, but the years go by in a flash. 

Why It Helps: When things are tough, and you’re waging a three-front war on RSV, covid and flu, it can be hard (OK, impossible) to see the forest for the trees.

Example: Buy the stupidly expensive school photo package. (Add a magnet.)