Watching This Netflix Show with My Husband Is Like Going to Free Couples Therapy

Finding a show we both genuinely love is a win in and of itself (because let’s be honest, marriage is all about compromise…Monday Night Football for him, Dancing with the Stars for me). But as we hunker down every week to see what relationships grew stronger or who inevitably crashed and burned, these hour-long episodes somehow morph into full-on couples therapy sessions.

More often than not, we both end up reaching for the remote, pausing to discuss the major blow-up we just witnessed or whose side we’re taking in a disagreement. We’ll wax on about which couples we think have the strongest bond and which ones are destined for failure. We analyze the contestants’ behavior, their actions, body language and words. We dissect every fight, every milestone, every white lie and every “I love you” (toxic or true). Whether we agree, disagree or some combo of the two, each thoughtful discussion is like a mini session of couples therapy and shadow work. And weirdly, they make me feel closer and more connected to him.

I’m no psychologist, but I’d guess these feelings have something to do with emotional detachment (though not of the clinical variety). My husband and I aren’t the ones agreeing to marry each other sight unseen and we’re not the ones living in this hyperized marriage simulation that would test any sane couple. We’re snuggled up on the couch judging from afar. But being so far removed is why I think we’re able—and willing—to discuss these real-life (and often relatable) relationship issues so freely. It’s because we’re not emotionally involved, so all the joy, anger, sadness, irritation and infatuation you’d normally feel during the highs and lows of a relationship aren’t clouding our decision-making skills—meaning the amygdala can take a back seat and let the frontal lobe take over.  

Whether we’re fangirling over a couple or analyzing the narcissistic tendencies of another, I always leave the couch feeling more emotionally connected to my partner. Who knew a little reality TV show could be so deep? Head to Netflix now to watch all seven seasons of Love Is Blind.