I Love You Denzel Washington, But This Might Be the Worst Movie You Ever Made

My boyfriend and I wind down with a movie almost every night—and we’ve been on a serious Denzel Washington kick lately. We’ve covered Training Day (the film which earned him his first and so far only Oscar for Best Actor), The Equalizer and, one of my favorite of Washington’s films to date, Man on Fire. But given that my film-buff BF is something of a walking IMDb page, he recently decided to dig deep into the star’s filmography to suggest a Denzel title I had never even heard of: 1995’s Virtuosity. Having now watched it, I know why it’s best left to obscurity.  

Starring Washington across from his Gladiator predecessor Russell Crowe, Virtuosity is best described as a cyber crime thriller (though probably not in the way that you think) that takes itself way too seriously for its nonsensical premise. However, I will give it some credit for accurately predicting the present fears stoked by AI and virtual reality. 

While some may consider the painfully dated ‘90s flick to be among Washington’s most underrated films, I’m on the side of critics and audiences who’ve given it a 32 percent approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes. This has got to be one of the star’s worst films ever. Here’s why.

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The film kicks off with Washington, playing cop Parker Barnes, and his partner chasing down a criminal in a Matrix-like futuristic society. OK, I thought while watching, I like The Matrix. But soon we learn that the futuristic society is really a virtual reality program, as is the criminal (played by Crowe) he takes down. In actual reality, it’s still the ‘90s, and Barnes is a police-officer-turned-prisoner who fell from grace after killing the terrorist who murdered his wife and daughter. He’s now serving as a guinea pig to test out a new virtual training program for law enforcement. OK, I thought, that’s kinda interesting…

Then the storyline gets weird(er). Rather than Barnes plugging in to fight crime in a cool virtual reality realm, Crowe’s computerized criminal, a program dubbed SID (Sadistic, Intelligent, Dangerous), ends up achieving a physical form…? And going on a murderous rampage in the real world…? And he’s unstoppable despite being a digital manifestation…? Hmm. As much as I’m capable of suspending my disbelief for the purposes of fiction, I found myself questioning the principles of SID’s physics for the remainder of the run time, especially when he was able to regenerate himself by eating glass(?).   

Not only is SID a crazy computer program come to life, he’s also meant to be an amalgamation of all the worst serial killers on record. (Somehow, I guess, his creators found a way to download their personalities—IDK.) Nevertheless, Crowe plays him with a wacky, over-the-top persona reminiscent of ‘80s mascot Max Headroom. In my opinion, Crowe is the only one who understands the assignment of this film—overall, it’s ridiculous, and he’s giving ridiculous. 

However, everyone else on screen, including Washington, is treating this like a dark, gritty crime thriller. Barnes, of course, has to hunt SID down and stop him, and with the introduction of criminal psychologist Dr. Madison Carter (played by Kelly Lynch), the movie starts to feel like it’s trying to be The Silence of the Lambs. But between the overblown action scenes and the antagonist’s technologically advanced, superhuman abilities, Virtuosity definitely falls more into the sci-fi action genre à la Terminator—just try telling the self-serious cast that.

On its surface, Virtuosity brings to life society’s long-standing fears about cyber entities—perhaps in too literal a sense. And while that may feel more prescient than ever given the state of AI advancement, the movie’s merits really end there. Dig down another layer and all you’ll find is a goofy, illogical storyline that’s as confused about its purpose as it leaves its audience. Really, the only takeaway I got from it was, uh, don’t download a bunch of serial killers onto a computer program and bring it to life? Noted!

The movie is a total mess for sure, but if you’re in the mood for some silly, so-bad-it’s-at-least-memorable viewing, well, throw it on and get ready to cringe. Then you can join me in being thankful that Denzel’s career only went up from here.