8 Things You Should Never Say to the Bride-to-Be (Because She’s Dealing with Enough Already)

Love is in the air! But what’s that smell? Tension? Who knew that sharing engagement news opened the floodgates for unsolicited feedback? Does the bride-to-be really need to hear about the guy who died at your aunt’s wedding 65 years ago or why you think speeches are utterly tacky? No, no she does not. In fact, here are eight things you should never say to the bride-to-be because, c'mon, she already has a lot to deal with.

Hands off their plate—wedding shredding talk is off the menu! If the bride is working to achieve a particular strength or physical goal for the wedding day, then that’s between them and the gym. Bringing up an unprompted discussion on losing, gaining or maintaining weight can trigger anxiety and set unrealistic expectations on what a bride should look like.

Uh-uh honey…you did not just ask for a plus-one to bring that new boyfriend of yours that has never met the bride or groom. When in doubt, trust the wedding invite. We can assure you on behalf of the brides out there that the names on the invitation wasn’t a mistake—and this goes for your kids, too. They weren’t forgotten, they just weren’t included because sometimes, children should forgo the festivities and hang with the babysitter. Who knows? It just may be the perfect date night for you to let loose—and if you’re single, keep your eyes peeled because you might meet the one.

Even if you’re schooled in the 4Cs (cut, color, clarity and carat) of diamonds, when it comes to engagement rings, it’s not the most polite dinner topic when the newly-engaged couple is present. Just because Aunt Bonnie says the ring should be worth the equivalent of three months of the groom’s salary doesn’t mean that’s a.) good fiscal advice or b.) everyone’s priority. Whether she’s wearing a 32-carat white diamond Liz Taylor herself worn or a lovely pearl bauble, leave the expectations and judgement at the door.

The bride’s internal monologue? “Please, please, PLEASE let me plan my own wedding!” Maybe you were absolutely obsessed with your family-style fajita dinner, or maybe you completely regret not hiring a wedding planner. Wherever your comment may stem from, remember that the bride has her own prerogatives and tastes. Fun suggestions and ideas are always appreciated to spark inspiration, but keep the superlatives at bay.

Whoa, Nelly! We know you’re excited for the happy couple and the life they’re about to build together, but let the lovebirds enjoy this milestone while they’re in it! They’ll do it on their own time…literally.

In your opinion, maybe they are, and that’s A-OK! You don’t have to spend zilch on a wedding. However, blurting out this comment to someone who is spending their savings on a dream fete feels a little aggressive, no?

Good news, you’ll have another birthday to celebrate come next year. See list four: It’s their party, and they can plan when they want to. Not to mention, booking a wedding venue can be extremely competitive, so September 4th just might be the only date available. (Sorry, Becky.) So, put those yearly calendars away and refrain from hitting “forward” to the bride because she is NOT marking off dates for anyone but the newlyweds.

Weddings are expensive for all parties involved. And there are certainly extra costs when it comes to destination weddings or bachelorettes. So, if you’re feeling the weight of financial strain, remember you have the option to politely decline the wedding invitation or the bachelorette. And if you know you’ll attend regardless of the location, then err on the side of politeness and refrain from blurting out this comment.