This Divisive Millennial Wedding Trend Is Super Controversial in an Election Year

Much like homeownership and landlines, I had thought that old-fashioned social norms had mostly gone the way of the dodo where my fellow millennials were concerned. After all, women ask men out, men go dutch on dates, and for all the pomp surrounding matrimony, monogamy is hardly the only relationship option out there anymore. Even so, when it comes to discussing classically taboo subjects at social events, it seems even the most progressive among my ilk are lately embracing a decidedly traditional rule of thumb: “No talking politics at the party.”

Such conversational constraints may seem like a relic of Gilded Age etiquette books, but more and more millennials (and even some marrying-age members of Gen Z) are adopting them—and asking their guests to do the same—when it comes to their weddings. I recently attended some nuptials, ahead of which attendees were explicitly asked to avoid the potentially triggering topics of politics and religion; on TikTok, 24-year-old bride Kait (aka @kitttlecat) went viral for creating signs that read "This event is a politics-free zone" to display at her own soiree. According to friends, colleagues and the New York Times, it’s hardly an uncommon request—although it can certainly be considered a controversial one, especially in an election year.

• Lisa Grotts, aka "The Golden Rules Gal," is a modern etiquette expert, author and public speaker with 25 years of experience helping individuals navigate social situations to present themselves with confidence and poise. She is the former director of protocol for the city and county of San Francisco, a certified etiquette professional and a past member of the International Society of Protocol and Etiquette Professionals.
• Grace Thompson is a seasoned wedding planner and product manager at ChicSew, a premier bridal fashion brand. With a passion for making each couple’s vision come to life, she uses her extensive knowledge of bridal trends and event planning expertise to enhance the joy of wedding celebrations.

On the one hand, it’s understandable that couples would try to get ahead of any friction that may arise when a diverse group of their loved ones are brought together, perhaps in the perilous presence of champagne toasts and an open bar. But a request limiting the parameters of conversation could feel a bit like censorship at a time when people are feeling particularly passionate about these undeniably important matters.

So, to skip or not to skip the politics? My millennial circle is about as torn on the budding wedding trend as I am (although I will note that one of my Gen X colleagues was ready to rebel against it almost instantly upon discussion), so I tapped two wedding and elbow-rubbing pros for their thoughts.

“In a non-election year, keeping wedding conversations light is usually effortless,” notes etiquette expert Lisa Grotts. “However, mindful etiquette suggests a gentle reminder to ensure a positive experience for everyone.” Like a growing number of newlyweds, Grotts recommends following the golden rule of polite discussion: “Steer clear of religion, politics and other sensitive topics. This approach creates a relaxed and joyful atmosphere, making all guests feel at ease, no matter their background.”