How to Reclaim Your Home After a Breakup

Step #1: Toss anything triggering. But according to Soria, this is actually much harder than it sounds. “It's a balancing act of how much you like something versus how much pain it brings with it,” he says. “My tip is to get rid of everything you don't love that automatically makes you think of your ex. If something reminds you of your ex but also has good memories attached, or is valuable for some other reason, stow it away and look at it again in a few years to reassess.”

Sure, sure, we all need alone time to heal—but the sooner you’re laughing with your friends and family, the sooner you’ll be feeling like yourself again. Let this be your inspiration for sprucing up your dining space: “Add a fresh coat of paint, buy some new art or invest in some nice serving ware,” says Soria. “Any small update can make a world of difference and make you all the more confident in your ability to host a stellar dinner party.”

Whether that means taking on a painting project or actually crafting some bespoke decor, an activity will make a great distraction and self-esteem booster. “I find that doing a DIY project for their home always makes recent singles feel better about themselves and their spaces,” says Soria. “Don’t underestimate the healing power that comes with creating something yourself for your home. And then seeing it every day to remind you what a badass you are!”

Best friends are the best medicine, and if they don’t live locally, use this as the impetus to improve your guest accommodations. “This can be something as major as upping the style in your guest bedroom to make it as cozy as possible, or something as simple as getting a really great air mattress if you don't have a guest room,” explains Soria. “The key is creating a comforting space for your guests so they can comfort you. Everyone wins.”

An unspoken relationship truth? They involve compromise on the style front. So why not really go for it and reclaim the space as yours? “When I got out of my last relationship I painted my bedroom pink. I also did this on an episode of the show, much to the delight of the homeowner!” shared Soria. “Getting your own way and having the opportunity to figure out exactly what your design aesthetic is is one of the most important upsides to post-breakup design.”

“Cooking for yourself is a great distraction and a good way to be mindful of what you're putting in your body post-breakup when many people tend to let their dietary choices slip,” says Soria. For this reason, he recommends making some aesthetic and organizational updates to inspire your efforts: Anything from changing your cabinetry hardware to adding a pretty open shelving feature to merchandising the pantry.

A silver lining in this whole breakup mess? You’re about to go through a huge period of personal growth—which can be further fueled by the arts. “I find that looking at art, going to concerts, or really doing anything that celebrates creativity can be so therapeutic during a breakup,” says Soria. “So this is the perfect time to invest in some new art for your home.”