Why a Chef Would Never Order Salmon at a Restaurant

If the restaurant is letting them go for this cheap, you aren’t getting a deal—they’re just really, really low-quality oysters. Stick with a seafood spot that specializes in oysters (they’ll probably be at least $2 a piece). And don’t even think about eating them if they have a fishy smell.

A salad should be just as exciting as every other appetizer on the menu. In other words, a mesclun mix is a total snooze-fest. Order literally any other app and chances are, you’ll be much more satisfied.

…Oh, wait, except this app. Ceviche, a Latin American dish made with raw fish “cooked” in lemon juice, requires high-quality fish to be done right. More often than not, this isn’t the case, making for a taste that’s tough and chewy. You’re safer with a cooked fish appetizer instead, like sardines.

Whether it’s in a salad or as an appetizer, this flavor combo just doesn’t work, the Ruffian chefs insist: “Every time we’ve ordered this dish, it’s been disappointing.” Let’s save the watermelon for a picnic and the feta for shakshuka, shall we?

How many pieces of salmon have you had in your lifetime? 580? Were any of them particularly memorable? Nope, we didn’t think so. Order a flavorful fish stew or a mussels dish instead—broaden your horizons, people.