I Noticed a Surprising Detail in Martha Stewart's New Gardening Book

I’m a pretty enthusiastic Martha Stewart fan—I’ve enjoyed her homewares, loved her TV show tips, read her magazines and envied her gorgeous homes and gardens. I’m also a passionate gardener—like Martha, I have been since childhood. So when I pored over her just-released Martha Stewart’s Gardening Handbook, a gorgeously photographed hardcover that’s got useful tips for both the beginning and experienced plant enthusiast, I was especially surprised to see a big confession from famously circumspect great lady, tossed off on page 116 in display type.

But first, some important background on Stewart that adds context to her reveal. After watching Martha, the Netflix documentary this winter, I was amazed by this self-made woman’s family of origin, especially her relationship to her father.

“I am a perfectionist, and it runs in the family, and it started with my father. Dad made each of us learn to garden. He could grow anything. I was the ideal daughter: I wanted to learn, and he had a lot to teach, and I listened,” she says, sitting regally in a chair.

“His beautiful blue eyes—my father was the handsomest father. He loved me, and it was very obvious to everybody that I was his favorite. He thought I was more like him than the other children,” she says with a thin-lipped nod of self-approval.

Later, she goes on to explain how “he stood over you like a sergeant, mean” as she and her siblings sowed vegetables to eat and barter for home goods. “He sometimes started the day off with a large glass of coffee and red wine,” she tells the camera. “So, was that an alcoholic? Maybe. But he never looked like a drunk…but he was a dissatisfied, unhappy human being,” she says, unemotionally. Later, she explains how, when she came home to report she was getting married to her college boyfriend, her father slapped her “hard on the face” before saying she wasn’t allowed to marry him, due to his Jewish faith.

One of Martha’s brothers corroborates her stories of planting under their father’s direction: “I still can’t stand to garden to this day.”

Flash forward to today, past her decades of home and lawn-tending, to successes, failures and controversies. Here is Stewart’s new book, which is all about gardening, the activity that she shared with her stern male parent. And what does Stewart, the once-billionaire and forever famous bigwig write about this pastime and her father’s influence?

“My father taught me that you can do it from scratch, starting from seeds or cuttings, and if you nurture them, they will produce. I still do this: I grow trees from saplings and boxwood from rooted cuttings, and pretty much all my blowers are from seeds sown in the greenhouse. I enjoy seeing them develop. I think a gardener learns more this way,” she writes.

Whoa! Way to make lemonade, Martha Stewart. She doesn’t hold a grudge. She separates the unpleasant from the instructional, not letting his “dissatisfied, unhappy” character corrupt a hobby she so thoroughly enjoyed. I’m so off-balance by this boot-straps confessional that I keep reading, and learn all about biodegradable peat pots and cell trays to start seeds and cuttings in. Then I read on to learn that my starting plants indoors before outdoor planting might be better aided by an adjustable grow lamp, and that pre-frost sprouting helps prolong budding and fruit-bearing seasons.

Early in Martha the documentary, Stewart’s shown walking through her Turkey Hill property dictating voice notes to be sent to a groundskeeper. It’s hard not to shudder when she remarks “There seems to be some dead peonies, which makes me very unhappy. Send.” (You know that voice notes recipient will be worried about getting those peonies out pronto or Heads. Will. Roll.) In voiceover, she says, “I was maligned for being a perfectionist, criticized for trying to create a lifestyle that was unattainable, which was not the case at all. What I was really trying to do was to educate.” I believe her—her new gardening handbook is proof. Besides the chapter on DIY plant starting, there are sections on creating a backyard berry patch, cutting garden, garden design and floral arrangement. By the time I got to the section where Stewart details custom-tailoring burlap coverings for planters and even trees for over-wintering, I felt a bit dizzy.

Long story short, Martha’s trauma bond with Mother Nature really resonates with me. There’s a real accomplishment from getting something to grow—and what’s more, I’m in awe, as well as a little unsettled, by how she’s seemed to take the useful lessons from a tough family past and made them work for her in the present. Maybe most telling is the doggerel Stewart repeats on camera: “If you want to be happy for a year, get married. If you want to be happy for a decade, get a dog, and if you want to be happy for the rest of your life, make a garden.”

I highly recommend the book for its 368 pages of useful tips—and think it would make the perfect Mother’s Day gift, maybe with a fresh pair of gardening gloves or a hand shovel tied on it with a bow.