20 Things More Women Need to Start Talking About

1. Our salaries. The gender pay gap thrives in a culture of silence.  If there was ever a time to break it, it’s now.  

2. Our achievements. Funny how guys never seem to worry about overselling themselves or talk themselves out of asking for a raise.

3. Our interest in attending that meeting, going on that work trip and taking a seat at that table. Imposter Syndrome is like a stuffy nose: annoying but definitely not worth staying home for.

4. Miscarriage, infertility and what it’s really like to freeze your eggs. The journey to parenthood can be full of pitfalls. Isolation doesn’t have to be one of them.

5. Being single or child-free by choice. And how to deflect annoying questions about it. One suggestion? When asked, ‘Why don’t you have kids?’ reply, ‘Why do you have kids?’

6. Our own Cat Person. Let’s talk about him. Let’s get furious about him. And let’s absolutely raise daughters who know how to say “no” to him.

7. What it’s really like to give birth. Thank you, Kristen Bell, for speaking your truth about the mesh panties.

8. That breastfeeding can be one of the most emotional experiences of our lives—whether we do it or not. From low-supply to weaning-induced depression, we desperately need to, uh, bust this conversation wide open.

9. Underrepresentation. In movies, music, business, tech and government—and what we plan to do about it.

10. Your company’s paid-leave policy. Ask other women who are back from maternity leave about their experience. Bring their hard numbers straight to your HR department.

11. Our pride in our kids, and not just our worries about them. Everybody has a kid with issues. But nobody else has a kid as spectacular as yours.  

12. What we really think when we’re asked to give a reference for a nanny, a daycare or a school. Not the time to mince words.

13. Women whose careers are en fuego after 40. Reese Witherspoon, Ava DuVernay and Ruth Bader Ginsburg, we’re looking at you.

14. Actually enjoying sex. FYI: It’s connected to confidence.

15. Or, alternately, being over sex. Get in touch with being touched out.

16. The amount of time, energy and money we put into our appearances. It’s our decision to buy into beauty standards, but let’s not pretend it’s effortless.

17. How challenging it can be to make friends as an adult. Where there’s Wi-Fi, there’s a way.

18. And how challenging marriage is. Without the fear that your friends will gossip about you behind your back.

19. Our parenting “fails.” M&Ms for potty training? Halloween candy for getting in the car seat? Screen time for putting on socks? That time you lost it on them outside Music for Aardvarks? Misery loves company, but mom-guilt loves it more.

20. How lucky we are. The benefits of gratitude include but are not limited to: improved patience, relationships, physical health, sleep, impulse control and lasting happiness. Boom.