20 New Year’s Resolutions for Your Mental Health

As you probably know (most likely from experience), most people do not succeed in keeping their New Year’s resolutions. On January 1, we pull out our pencils (or the Notes app) and jot down the things we’d love to do in the coming 364 days: Run a marathon. Eat healthier. Meditate every day. Keep in touch with long-distance friends. You know, all the things that should give our mental health a boost and that we really should be prioritizing. But come February, that piece of paper is crumpled somewhere on your office floor, or the well-intentioned Note is buried under grocery lists and other to-dos. But not this year. I know a thing or two about keeping resolutions—having succeeded, a couple years ago, in knocking every single one off my list—and I’ve tapped a psychologist to talk about actionable tips that can help you do the same. Below are 20 New Year’s resolutions you can make for your mental health, and the best part is that they are actionable and specific. Here’s to a new year and new you.

Alexandra Stratyner, Ph.D., is a New York City-based licensed psychologist specializing in cognitive behavioral therapy, dialectical behavior therapy and mindfulness skills training. Dr. Stratyner serves on the voluntary faculty of the Mount Sinai Health System and is an adjunct faculty member at New York University. She holds a BA in psychology from Bryn Mawr College. Dr. Stratyner obtained her masters and doctorate from Seton Hall University.

We all know how the story goes: We have some grandiose vision for the new year, a clean slate before us…and then by February we’ve given up. No surprise there.

“Generally speaking, setting resolutions is widely considered not to be an effective strategy for making changes,” Dr. Statyner tells me. “When people set resolutions, they have a tendency to set wide-ranging goals that emphasize the end result instead of immediate, smaller scale behavioral changes that could lead in the direction of that end goal.”

If you want resolutions you’ll actually keep, she says that you need to focus on sustainable behavioral changes—and to not be discouraged if you don’t see results by March. Keep them small, keep them practical, keep them—ahem—realistic and personal while avoiding broad ideas.

“Start by deciding what is most important to you, such as reducing stress, improving relationships or cultivating emotional strength. Tailor your resolutions accordingly. Instead of unspecific goals such as ‘be happy’ or ‘reduce stress’, schedule a ten-minute mindfulness session daily, enforce specific work/life balance boundaries or find a community group that encourages you to connect,” she explains. You should also tailor them to where you are in your life. If you’ve never run more than a mile (and very irregularly), you probably don’t want to resolve to run a 10k anytime soon. Rather, you’d benefit more from resolving to go on a daily or weekly jog and then assessing where you are at the six month mark before signing up for, say, a 5k instead.

The other thing you can do to set yourself up for success? Prioritize consistency over perfection. And to that end, I’ll impart the best advice ever given to me: Discipline is more important than motivation. You may not feel like doing something, but if you have the discipline to push through, it will get done. Of course, it also doesn’t hurt to shout your resolutions from the rooftops. A little bit of accountability goes a long way.

Dr. Stratyner advises aiming for five to ten minutes a day as a way to process your emotions, patterns and ideas. If you feel pressured confining yourself to a time limit, take a page from The Artist’s Way and try three pages a day instead. Remember: It doesn’t have to be perfect; it doesn’t even have to be good. Even if you simply write, “I hate this and it sucks,” for three pages or five minutes, that counts.

“Sunlight and nature are known to have calming and uplifting benefits,” Dr. Stratyner tells me. Whether it’s a ten-minute morning walk around the block before work or finally planning that national park tour you’ve been dreaming about for ages, prioritize getting outside and reconnecting with nature.

I have a rule that my electronics must be turned off 45 minutes before bedtime so that I can prepare for sleep without the barrage of the screen. This gives me time to chat with my parents, read a book or do the aforementioned journaling. Alternatively, you could also resolve to make a rule that your phone/electronics aren’t allowed in certain rooms of your home, like your bedroom or the dining room, so that you can focus on connecting with people in social spaces.

“Engaging in gratitude is associated with positive mental health outcomes, including increased feelings of happiness,” she says. I can attest that this is true. Earlier this year, I challenged myself to write down ten things I’m grateful for every day, and I’ve noticed a subtle shift in my thinking as I’ve forced myself to focus on the good things—even if they’re small. My rules: They can be dumb, insignificant, uncreative and repetitive as long as I’m taking the time to write them down. Things that have made the list: reorganizing my dresser full of pajamas, nightly cup of tea or hot chocolate, cashmere sweaters, watching Hallmark movies for the first time, walking arm-in-arm with my friend through Manhattan…even regurgitating the list right now is making me smile. Ten things feel too daunting to list? Start with three, and make dedicated time to write them down. I do this before bed, but you could do it when you wake up, during lunch or even during the kids’ nap time.

Dr. Stratyner says that finding a creative outlet, like painting, knitting or music, can provide a sense of accomplishment, as well as a therapeutic break. The key, I think, is giving yourself permission to suck. The point isn’t to turn this into a side hustle—it’s to do it for the joy of doing it. To relax. To have fun. (What’s that?!) Other activities: Embroidery, punch needling, scrapbooking, instant photography, joining a choir, taking a pottery class and gardening.

Social connections are essential to well-being. You’ll be most successful, I think, if you take Dr. Stratyner’s advice and do some concrete planning, as opposed to telling yourself you’ll call your long-distance friends eventually, or get coffee with that new friend from yoga class “sometime”. I call my long-distance friends every quarter. (Some do the “first Sunday” rule). Like, on the first day of every new quarter, I text them and arrange a day to call. Similarly, make a goal such as reaching out to one friend per week or every two weeks and nailing down a time to catch up.

In the vein of getting outside and fostering social connections, the athletically inclined (and even those who aren’t) may benefit from joining a social basketball, pickleball or running club. (This is, after all, how people are going on dates now, too.) No matter what sport you choose, the point is that you’re bound to make some friends, because as they say misery (AKA sweating your tail off) loves company.

We all love a good sense of accomplishment and something to look forward to. Enrolling in a class satisfies both requirements. Maybe that means signing up for a Masterclass subscription or enrolling in French classes at your local community center, or auditing a lecture on South American literature at a nearby community college or university. Life is all about what we’re looking forward to, and having something consistent on your schedule gives you just that.

There’s a dearth of third spaces—aka the places aren’t work or home that allow you to connect with community—and it’s tough to pull ourselves off the couch when the pull for a Netflix binge is strong. But joining a social club, be it books, cooking or birding, throws you consistently in the path of other people that may just end up becoming a good friend. One of my favorite ways to find people with shared interests is through an app called Geneva. Think of it like Facebook with only the groups feature. You can search by interest and location, and before you know it, you’re meeting people IRL. This is how I started a successful book club in New York.

Cliché? Maybe. But I think there’s a lot of merit to sitting quietly with your thoughts, even if it’s only for five minutes a day. If this practice is anxiety-inducing, try following up with resolution number one and journaling it all out. Not sure where to start? Here’s PureWow’s guide to seven popular types of meditation (including chakra, zen and movement meditation) and an overview of the nine best sleep meditation apps to get you going.

Friends, let me tell you that deleting social media from my phone was the best thing I’ve ever done. I’m spending so much more time doing things I actually want to do, like drafting a novel, reading books, photography, baking and aimless walks, as opposed to scrolling past brain-rotting content and then wondering where the last five hours went. I also feel a lot more content because I’m not comparing myself to people's best moments 24/7. In the name of achievability, challenge yourself to one day per month and up the length of time from there.

This sounds dumb, but it’s not. Hydration is key to great skin, but on a non-aesthetic level is also completely vital to keeping you alive. I cannot begin to count the number of people who have told me they don’t drink enough water—and then report they feel way better when they do. A friend of mine aims to drink 12 ounces as soon as she wakes up. Start there—and then maybe fill up a Stanley cup.

This does *not* have to be 27 steps. Maybe you don’t use any beauty products. It could be as simple as making yourself an herbal tea before bed. The point is that you carve out two minutes (that’s how long it takes for my kettle to boil) to do something for yourself. When a friend of mine mentioned that she never makes herself tea, but would always make it if a partner or friend asked, I then started texting her every night to remind her to make herself a cup, just because. It’s become a small—but affirming—ritual. You are worth the time and effort.

We’re all living in our own bubbles, but one of the greatest joys, in my opinion, is breaking them. Volunteering allows you to lend a hand to a cause you care about, and meet people you might not otherwise cross paths with for lack of sharing other interests. If your time is scarce, don’t put pressure on yourself to volunteer every week or even every month. See if your company has a PTO day that’s dedicated to service, and try using that day to go out and serve.

Again, this doesn’t have to be complicated. It may just take some planning, especially if healthy recipes aren’t in your typical dinner rotation. Try carving out one hour a week to plan the recipes you want to try and prepare grocery lists so that you’re not stressed and flailing in the store. (Been there, done that, do not recommend.)

Many of my friends have said they feel better when they drink less. But for those of you who can’t imagine turning down a French 75, you may want to consider a damp January or blocking off one week a month where you don’t drink. Who knows? You may find you feel so good you don’t need another cocktail.

Don’t know about you, but I’m quick to nitpick over myself. I can rattle off a litany of things I dislike about my physical appearance, my creative capabilities and life in general. Ask me to give myself a kind word? BRB. (Really a code for never coming back to that convo.) BUT, last year someone gave me an honest compliment and I ended up writing it down on a sticky note and putting it on my vanity. And in my journal, sometimes I’ll just write down the compliments other people have given me. Do I believe them? Maybe. But every time I write them down, I feel a little bit more confident. I recommend giving specific affirmations. For example, instead of writing, “I can do this,” you would write, “I am a good writer” or “I am a kind and compassionate leader”, etc. Vagueness is a cop-out.

How many times have you gone an entire day hunched over your computer, maybe running to the kitchen to microwave lunch before scrunching back in your chair? Yeah, same. Even when it feels like you couldn’t possibly pull away, try setting aside five minutes in the morning and the afternoon for a stretch break and five deep breaths. This has actually helped me manage some panic attacks. From lower back stretches and the best hamstring stretches to energizing stretches that make it feel like you took a walk, everybody with me: Take one big lungful of air.

This feels a little bit left field but honestly? Most of the media we consume, whether books or television, aren’t that happy. (At least if you’re an adult—Euphoria, Yellowstone or Sally Rooney anyone?) So many comedians I’ve watched over the years are just making jokes to get through the hard bits of life. Life is hard! But laughing about it makes it feel lighter. And laughing with other people—the camaraderie is priceless. Trust me, no number of The Office reruns with your favorite popcorn will ever compare to laughing until you’re crying with strangers shoulder-to-shoulder.

Or whatever cadence works best for you. You can’t deny that Troy Bolton was on to something when he let it go in High School Musical 3. Sometimes you just have to let it all out. And before you call me crazy, the BBC has already coined it scream therapy, and as it turns out, there are plenty of benefits to doing it.