Do I Stay or Do I Go? My Boyfriend of 2 Years Finally Said "I Love You." The Kicker? It Was on a Balloon

My boyfriend and I have been dating for nearly two years, but we have yet to say those three little words to each other…at least out loud. So, when an “I love you” balloon showed up for my birthday at my door, I was at once giddy—he loves me!—and upset—a balloon?

Growing up, I was taught that the first “I love you” should be A. said by the guy and B. a little messy but ultimately romantic. In Something Borrowed, Dex tells Rachel he loves her after spending the night together, and they begin their very messy yet very romantic love story. In Gossip Girl, Dan tells Serena he loves her because he thinks she’s pregnant—he even reads her a list of reasons, and in the end, they end up together. Catch my drift? I know real life isn’t exactly like the movies (or hell, even TV), and you can call me old-school, outdated—whatever you want—but yeah, I’d like my man to profess his love first, and, more importantly, face to face.

So, when I walked up the stairs to my apartment and saw the “I Love You” balloon outside my door, I felt a mix of emotions. I thought, “Am I being punked?” I needed clarity. So I sent him a photo of the balloon and asked if he meant it. His response? “Yeah lol.”

“Yeah lol” for a proclamation of love. I texted my mom about the situation, and she responded, “That’s his love language. You have to accept him for him.” Yeah, maybe, but do I really? I felt like I had an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other—although I’m not sure which one is really “good” or “bad.” Instead, I’ll name them like so…

Studies have shown that when someone says "I love you," your body releases high levels of dopamine—aka the "feel-good" hormone—which is associated with the use of cocaine or alcohol. So, I was not only (maybe) in a somewhat state of euphoria, but I had my mom's message in the back of my head. That said, part of me was saying not to overthink it. Deep down, you know how he feels. He's usually there for you when you need him and one of the only people who truly gets you. He's just afraid to say it to your face. He hasn't experienced anything like it before. Not to mention, do you even feel ready to say it back? Why rush? Make your own timeline! Again, you know how he feels. He'll say it to your face when he's ready, and you'll say it to his when you're ready.

When it came to the "I love you" balloon, part of me was also whispering it was a cop-out, and I deserved better—start a fight with your boyfriend! I was also reminded of all the nights I stayed up thinking about why he hadn’t told me he loved me yet. And more importantly, how the internet says he should say it within six months, or else he’s just not that into you. Basically, the very online, rationale part of me was saying to run.

So, which side won? Well, I'm a reasonable person.

As easy as it would be to side with the Red Flag Drill Sergeant, I'm choosing not to overthink it. Because at the end of the day, the fact that he hasn't said "I love you" to my face by now is only a problem because the internet and my friends tell me it is. I actually only think about it when someone else brings it up because I know how he feels. So, really, what's the rush in saying it? Every relationship has a different timeline. If it's meant to be, it'll be. Uh, remember it took Big nearly six years to tell Carrie, "She's the one”? Today, I’m choosing to wear my open-minded romantic cap. Tomorrow? Who knows. Maybe I’ll pop the balloon.