“This is going to sound severe, but I hate my husband's best friend —let’s call him ‘Alex’. He’s always knocking girls’ looks and said he ‘never wants to date a woman over the age of 25.’ (He’s 37.) To boot, he never asks me any questions about my life, even though I’ve known him for years. My husband shares my values, but he’s known his friend since high school. How do I get him to see the low-key misogyny? And is it fair to ask him to stop being friends with this jerk?”
Oy vey. Friendships are complicated.
The friends we meet in high school can become entirely different people by the time adulthood rolls in. So, if you remain in contact, there’s often a sense that somebody has changed. Still, there’s a difference between disagreeing over sports teams and revealing yourself to be an outright misogynist.
And what you’re pointing out is clear: Your husband’s friend doesn’t see you as individual and has made no attempts to get to know you. This is not only sexist. This is flat-out rude.