“I was seeing a guy for about a month, and things were going really, really well—the best connection I’ve had with someone in a long time. I thought we were definitely heading toward a committed relationship. Then, in a tragic turn of events, his last girlfriend of two years passed away suddenly. I went from talking to this guy every single day to him texting me just sporadically to completely dropping off the map. I am heartbroken. It’s clear now is not the best time for him to be starting a relationship and that’s totally understandable. But should I stop trying to see him or communicate with him entirely?”
Your budding romance is still pretty new, and it seems this turn of events has suddenly stopped him from pursuing anything with you right now. Would it have been great to have more information about what he’s feeling and where he’s at right now? There is no roadmap for grief, and people handle it in dramatically different ways. The stalling of an early relationship after loss is normal, and, personally, I think his disappearing act is forgivable.
If you want to leave the door open but don’t want to stall your life waiting for him to text or call, you’ll need to communicate in very clear language that you are open to seeing him again in his own time. It’s the most honest, caring, thoughtful way to handle things from your side if you want to give your budding connection a shot in the future.
Send one—I really mean one—email or text that reads something like this: