5 Everyday Habits That Might Be Ruining Your Sex Life, According to an Intimacy Expert

So you’re in a bit of a sex slump, huh? That’s OK, many people have been there. While some sex ruts are caused by general life stress, mismatched libidos and busy schedules, there are a number of super common habits that might be messing with your urge to get it on. Per Amy Williams, a relationship and sexual intimacy expert, “Couples come to me worried about their sex lives, and are often surprised when I divert the conversation to their daily habits.” She adds, “The truth is, what happens outside the bedroom has a direct impact on what happens inside it—and some seemingly harmless habits could be creating invisible barriers to intimacy.” If you’re looking to spice up your sex life, read on for Williams’s advice, then consider making small, consistent changes to remedy the issues. Williams says, “Many couples think they need grand gestures or complete lifestyle overhauls to improve their sex life, but it's often the subtle daily choices that make the biggest difference. Making mindful adjustments to your routine not only leads to better sex—it helps to create a stronger, more connected relationship overall.”

Amy Williams is a relationship and sexual intimacy expert. She is the CEO and founder of Peachy BDSM, Australia's largest adult toy store, which offers a wide range of sex toys and accessories while prioritizing safe and enjoyable sexual experiences, encouraging customers to get intimate with their pleasure.

A balanced diet is crucial to tons of facets of our lives—including our sex lives. Williams explains, “Poor diet choices affect everything from circulation—which is vital for arousal—to hormone levels and body confidence. What many people don't realize is that excessive sugar and unhealthy fats can lead to reduced libido and even contribute to performance issues for both partners.” The solution? “Focus on foods that boost circulation and energy levels naturally,” Williams advises. Think: salmon, avocados, nuts and plenty of fresh fruits and vegetables. As far as foods to avoid, you might want to skip big, heavy meals that are bound to crash your energy levels if you're hoping to get it on.

Besides the obvious—bad breath is not cute when it comes to kissing, y’all—Williams says neglecting your oral hygiene routine can have negative effects on your sex life. She explains, “Poor dental health affects more than just how your breath smells. Gum disease actually triggers inflammation throughout your body and can impair blood flow—including to intimate areas where good circulation is necessary for arousal.” Brush and floss, folks (hell, even use a tongue scraper)—it won’t just make your dentist happy.

“Social media creates unrealistic expectations and can devastate self-esteem,” says Williams. “This mindset makes you feel less confident and ultimately, less in the mood for intimacy.” Make sure to set boundaries with social media, especially during evening hours when you could be bonding with your partner. And as always, keep doomscrolling to a minimum.

Sure, a couple of glasses of wine might help you loosen up, but Williams tells me that regularly overdoing it could spell trouble for your intimate moments. She notes, “While alcohol might temporarily reduce inhibitions, drinking too much actually interferes with sexual response. Both men and women can find it harder to reach orgasm because alcohol desensitizes our nervous system, and men might struggle with maintaining an erection.” If you do like to occasionally imbibe, try to limit yourself to two drinks, or skip alcohol entirely and focus on natural connection.

I love a nice spritz of my signature scent (Boy Smells Woodphoria, if you were wondering) as much as the next person, but Williams says that overdoing it on scents—including artificial fragrances in laundry detergent, fabric softener and personal care products—can work against you. She explains, “They mask your natural scent, which plays a bigger role in attraction and arousal than most people realize.” She recommends switching to fragrance-free laundry products for your bedding and sleepwear, and going lighter on perfumes and scented body products. Remember: Some experts say our bodies naturally release pheromones, which can play a role in sexual attraction (though the presence of pheromones in humans is debated).