1. Fill out your profile…completely!
A lot of people leave their profile incomplete, which is wild because it’s the only way strangers can get to know you. Don’t adopt a defeatist attitude before you even start, thinking, “Why should I spend my time on this when it’s unlikely to work?” Remember, that pessimistic outlook will serve as your first impression on a dating app and it’s never attractive to match with someone who already thinks your connection is going nowhere. And if you’re too lazy to fill in your job and hometown—let alone add in a fun fact about yourself—please, get off the app. I tell my clients to swipe left on people who cannot be bothered to fill out a profile; would you want someone to bring that lack of effort to your relationship?
2. Use the categorical info to your advantage.
Online dating is not about attracting the most people; it’s about attracting the right people for you. So, if you can add information on categories including religion, political affiliation, desire to have kids or level of education, you should. You’re wasting your own time and your match’s time by omitting key information that might be relevant in your search or their search for a partner.
3. Write an amazing bio.
The vast majority of your written bio should focus on you. What does that mean? Well, you can talk about your job if you’re passionate about it, as well as what you like to do, where you like to travel and where you see your life in the next few years. But focus on your passions, not your problems. Read over your profile before posting it and ask yourself: ‘Would I want to be a part of this person’s life?’ If the answer is ‘no,’ redraft.
4. Use identifiers that also say something about you.
Including identifiers that other people will easily understand can be very helpful. I’m a big proponent for listing your Myers-Briggs type, astrological sign, enneagram, love language, ideological profile, and so on. These can become a great little ice breaker—even if you add in your favorite pop culture fact (how you’ve seen the entire Lord of the Rings series 15 times) or a personal principle (you absolutely have to eat three pickles with a cheeseburger), and others could get a strong sense of your personality as a result.
5. Don’t post a laundry list of turn-ons and turn-offs.
Don’t use precious bio space to detail a long, boring list of things you’re looking for in a partner. For one, it makes you seem demanding and on top of that, research shows us the vast majority of people don’t know what we want in a partner. If you want to list a few traits that would excite you, sure. But it should be one sentence maximum in your entire profile.
6. End your profile on a question.
My super-simple icebreaker, a message-me-now hack is to end on a question or a suggestion. For the longest time, mine was, “Tell me something you think I wouldn’t know.” This honestly led to some amazingly creative and fun facts from my matches. Another great question would be, “If you could go anywhere in the world tomorrow, where would it be and why?” I’ve always felt that quality conversations happening early on the app have the power to translate into better, deeper conversations off-app.
