The 3 Biggest Misconceptions About Aries, According to an Astrologer Who Hears Them All the Time

Astrology is a wonderful tool. But if used incorrectly, it’s easy to put someone into a box. As an astrologer, I constantly hear people generalizing what they know about a sign and misjudging the character of a person they barely know (which is why it's so important to get the facts straight about Aries compatibility if one of these rams happens to be your current crush). Though Geminis and Scorpios tend to be the most misunderstood (and therefore most hated on) signs, many also get the wrong idea about the first sign of the zodiac: Aries. So to set the record straight, here are the three biggest misconceptions about our favorite driven, passionate and excitable fire sign.

Ruled by the action planet Mars, Aries are often described as competitive, aggressive go-getters. If you know an Aries, you know a person who unabashedly states their opinion and goes after what they want. There’s no lack of self esteem there! Because their career sector is governed by Saturn, we see their rigid and responsible—and yes, potentially bossy—side in leadership positions. When it comes to being an authority though, Aries struggle to live up to their own expectations. It’s not that they aren’t confident but they’re always figuring out the plan as they go. That’s why they tend to be outspoken. Aries are always trying to prove something to themselves.

Aries are at their most powerful when they are acting from a place of urgency. Filled with energy—both nervous and limitless—Aries won’t stop until they’ve mastered the game. If they’re telling you what to do, it’s probably because no one else has contributed anything. So they actually aren’t hurt if you don’t agree with them or have a better suggestion. They’re curious about what you think! (Especially if it gets the job done).

Because Aries are the first sign of the zodiac, they’re often thought of as the little kids who don’t know how to clean up their room. But because their home sector is governed by the moon, Aries are actually secret homebodies who keep their living space clean and sacred. Though their decorating style is bright and bold, their taste also includes cozy throw blankets, fancy 3-wick candles and plenty of mugs for long days on the couch with tea. Aries also have excellent taste and always have the most sought after and high-end version of everything. Do you really think they would leave a $600 Vitamix in the sink? Or sit down for a meal at their fancy dining table without using coasters? Aries are excellent at cleaning up after themselves.

The one exception to this rule is that Aries can be messy when they’re living with roommates. Our precious rams get very overstimulated when there’s lots of people and conversation around and subsequently are much more lax about whose turn it is to take out the trash. Once you remind them about cleaning up though, they’re not only on top of the schedule—they’re making it.

Venus—the planet of love—has a hard time expressing herself in the assertive fire sign of Aries. Venus wants to connect, and she loves to be in all-accepting Pisces, indulgent Taurus and stylish Libra. In Aries though, she has to learn a whole new love language. How do you come together when competition always tears you apart? 

This doesn’t mean though that Aries are meant to be alone. Aries are certainly independent but when it comes to relationships, they’re practical, temperate and fair. Though they’re definitely aggressive in the early stages of dating—when an Aries knows what she wants, she goes after it!—once they’ve made their impression, they settle down into a routine. Aries often find themselves as part of a power couple!

The only sign that is tricky for Aries to fall into a steady relationship with is another ram. Two Aries do exceptionally well as business partners or BFFs as they compete to bring out each other’s best self and best work. But in a romantic pairing, the power dynamics in dating and sex never quite balance leading to a beautiful disaster. Despite that though, whatever happens between them is always memorable and some—like Matthew Broderick and Sarah Jessica Parker—somehow make it work.