The 15 Best Marriage Tips PureWow Has Ever Given

The Tip: Just like nature, marriage has seasons—times of growth, change and even dormancy. 

Why It Helps: Recognizing these phases can help couples navigate short- and long-term challenges with patience and understanding.

Example: Miguel wants to go to law school, but it’s too expensive. So, his husband, Tom, takes a job supporting him so he can fulfill his goals. When that was achieved, it was Miguel’s “season” to take on a supporting role to allow Tom the same type of opportunity.

2. No More “Buts” When Your Spouse Shares Their Feelings

The Tip: Drop the "but" and offer undivided attention and support.

Why It Helps: Sometimes, the best thing you can do for your partner is simply listen. Saying “but but but” can erode trust and make the person sharing feel dismissed.

Example: Instead of “but…” try…

• I hear you. 
• I'm here for you. 
• I'm so sorry that happened. 
• Tell me more. 
• What was that like for you? 
• What do you need? 
• Is there anything that I can do to help you with this or is this about feeling heard and seen?

3. Follow the 5:1 Rule

The Tip: For every negative interaction, aim for five positive ones. 

Why It Helps:  Per Dr. Gottman, of the Gottman Institute, “anger only has negative effects in marriage if it is expressed along with criticism or contempt, or if it is defensive.” This simple 5:1 ratio, backed by research, can make all the difference.

Example: Bob made dinner. It’s really bad. Nancy tells him so, for the sake of being honest, but follows the criticism up with five positive interactions:

1. “Even though the chicken’s raw, I really appreciate that you put in the effort tonight. It makes me feel very loved.”
2. She hugs him while he scrapes the pan in the sink.
3. She puts on his favorite record while they clean.
4. “Maybe we could take a cooking class together!”
5. Can I make dessert?

4. Learn Both of Your Love Languages

The Tip: Take a quiz to hone in on how you and your partner express and receive love.

Why It Helps: Understanding how your partner expresses and receives love can make your relationship stronger.

Example: Jane’s love language is words of affirmation. Roger’s is acts of service. So, to make each other feel loved, Jane gets the car washed without being prompted and Roger leaves love notes around the house. 

The Tip: Remember that what’s presented on social media about your relationship is a curated, interpreted version of reality. 

Why It Helps: Meaningful, IRL connection is far more important to a healthy relationship between you two than between you and whoever may follow your account. 

Example: Instead of posting a cute photo of you and your husband for others to like, gift him a beautiful album of your relationship that you can page through together. 

6. Schedule Sex

The Tip: It might not sound sexy, but putting intimacy on the calendar can keep the spark alive.

Why It Helps: Planning ensures that physical connection remains a priority, even in busy seasons of life.

Example: That “**BUSY :) **” event in your Google cal Saturday afternoon during nap time.

7. Do Your Own Thing

The Tip: A happy relationship thrives when both partners maintain their own hobbies, friendships and passions.

Why It Helps: Independence prevents codependency and keeps attraction alive.

Example: You love yoga, she loves fantasy football, and you do them separately without having to fake the other’s interest. 

8. Learn How to Apologize—Like, Really Apologize

The Tip: A simple "sorry" won’t always cut it. A genuine apology acknowledges hurt and commits to change.

Why It Helps: Proper apologies rebuild trust and show emotional maturity.

Example: Instead of "Sorry if you felt that way," try "I’m sorry for what I said. I see how it hurt you."

9. Date Night? Arrive Separately, Leave Together

The Tip: Remember how exciting it was in the beginning? Keep that energy alive by showing up to date night independently. 

Why It Helps: It adds a little nervous energy and mystery that you’ve lost along the way. What will she be wearing? What was his day like? You won’t know until you show up. 

Example: Let your spouse leave for your dinner reservations before the babysitter arrives and give yourself time to get dressed like you used to. The wait-and-see of it all inspires a bit more intrigue. 

The Tip: Not every milestone is huge, but every effort counts. A simple "thank you" or "I see you" can go a long way.

Why It Helps: Daily appreciation fosters long-term happiness.

Example: “Thanks for unloading the dishwasher—I really appreciate it.” Boom.

11. Think Small, as in Micro-Moments

The Tip: Tiny moments of connection—a smile, a hug, a kind word—build intimacy over time.

Why It Helps: These little acts create a strong foundation for lasting love.

Example: A quick hand squeeze before a doctor’s appointment.

12. Fight, But Fight Fair

The Tip: Disagreements happen, but it’s how you handle them that matters. No name-calling, no stonewalling—just honest communication.

Why It Helps: Respectful conflict resolution prevents resentment.

Example: Use “I” statements like “I feel frustrated when…” instead of blaming superlatives like: “You always…”

13. Use the Soft Start-Up Tactic During Conflicts

The Tip: Instead of launching into an argument at full force, start gently.

Why It Helps: A softer approach prevents defensiveness.

Example: Before you dive into that diatribe on dishwasher efficiency and cup placement, uncross those arms, unfurrow that brow and take a deep breath.

14. Have the Right Kind of Fights

The Tip: Not every battle is worth picking. Focus on what truly matters.

Why It Helps: Prioritizing essential issues keeps arguments productive, and out of the same cyclical fights.

Example: Does it really matter how the dishwasher is loaded? Pick your battles. 

15. Be Crazy and Try the Sex Toys

The Tip: Explore consensual ways to keep things exciting and unexpected.

Why It Helps: It strengthens intimacy, deepens your bond and helps you explore what you
like in the bedroom as you evolve.

Example: Who knew a vibrator shaped like a rose could make you fall in love with your husband of 25 years all over again?