*Warning: Spoilers ahead*
Last week on The Bachelor, Demi solidified her role as this season’s villain when she sparked a feud with Courtney, who was sent home as a result. And now, Colton Underwood is faced with another dilemma when a contestant makes a surprise visit to his bedroom.
Here’s what went down in season 23, episode five of The Bachelor.
The episode kicks off with the 13 remaining contestants traveling to Khao Lak, Thailand. When they arrive, the women take a casual stroll on the beach, while Underwood takes an outdoor shower.
No, really. The camera pans down his abs while Demi narrates, saying, “We have the jungle behind us, we have the ocean in front of us. It’s hot and steamy and a great place to take the next step with Colton.”
When the first date card arrives, it’s addressed to never-been-kissed Heather. The day begins with a scenic boat ride along Thailand’s coast until they stumble upon the “floating city” of Ko Panyi. (Think houses built on stilts.)
While there, the couple visits the local shops and tastes the region’s exotic foods. As much as we want to like Heather, the date is pretty dang awkward. Not only is she thirsty for a first kiss, but she also can’t take her eyes off Underwood’s lips while he’s eating.
“I’ve never kissed anyone, but if Colton kissed me, I would definitely be OK with it,” she says with googly eyes.
Later that night, the couple sits down for dinner, and Underwood wastes no time pressing her about past relationships. Heather reveals that she previously dated a guy in college, who seemed like “the one.” But that all changed when she realized that she didn’t actually like him—she liked the idea of him.
Underwood thanks her for her honesty before addressing the elephant in the room: physical intimacy. Heather assures him that she’s not against losing her v-card, and Underwood eats it up.
Right when he gives her the rose, fireworks go off in the background, prompting Underwood to pull her in for a kiss.
Back at the resort, the group date card arrives, and it’s addressed to Elyse, Caelynn, Demi, Hannah B., Hannah G., Katie, Kirpa, Nicole, Onyeka, Sydney and Tayshia, which means Cassie is the lucky recipient of the second one-on-one date.
Elyse is “gutted.” Since she already had a one-on-one date in episode three, the group dates aren’t cutting it. She reaches her breaking point when Heather returns to the hotel, gushing about her first kiss. Elyse responds by storming out, tracking down Underwood’s room and inviting herself in.
She tells him that she’s struggling with their lack of time together, considering he’s dating 12 other women. “I want the time and attention that a relationship deserves,” Elyse says.
Although Underwood assures her that he’s been in her position, Elyse admits that she’s not comfortable “competing” with the other contestants and asks to leave the show.
Of course, it doesn’t take long for Elyse to regret her decision. In an interview with producers, she tearfully reveals that she “made a really, really stupid mistake,” and all we have to say is… thank u, next.
For the group date, Underwood takes the ladies on a hike through the Thai jungle, and we can’t help but wonder how his shirt stayed so white.
After maneuvering through the untamed path, Underwood introduces the women to a survival expert named “Jungle Joe,” who teaches them tactics about living in the wilderness.
To no surprise, the ladies don’t hold anything back. Highlights include Hannah B. swallowing a bug, Nicole pulling an eel out of a hole, and Tayshia holding a scorpion.
“These women are getting after it,” Underwood says. They sure are.
Just then, Jungle Joe splits the ladies into three teams and tasks them with bringing back as much food and water as they can within an hour.
Demi sees this as an opportunity to take her team to the closest resort for a glass of Champagne. She even brings back a bottle and a burger, so she can hand-feed Underwood in front of the other women.
Later on, the ladies prove (yet again) that they can’t have a normal after-party. Not only does Hannah B. reveal that she’s falling in “love” with Underwood, but Onyeka also confronts Nicole for not being here for the “right reasons.” *Sigh*
“Elyse told me that Nicole said that she’s here to find an opportunity to leave Miami,” Onyeka tells Underwood.
When he fills in Nicole, she returns to the group and confronts Onyeka, saying that she doesn’t understand why she’s spreading rumors. (Spoiler alert: Nothing gets resolved.)
At the end of the night, Underwood gives the rose to Hannah B.
For the final one-on-one date, Underwood takes Cassie to a deserted island, where they sit on the beach, drink Champagne and kiss in the ocean. (You know, the usual.)
“On a scale of one to hot, Colton is hot,” Cassie says.
The good news is Underwood feels the exact same way, considering he couldn’t keep his hands off her the entire date, claiming he’s “crazy” about the speech pathologist.
At dinner, Cassie admits that she hopes he can respect her, even though she’s not a virgin. The worst part? Now her entire family knows. (Thanks a lot, national TV.)
Underwood says he would never judge her before giving her the rose and bringing her to his room.
“Normally I don’t let ladies in my bed on the first date,” Underwood says mid-cuddle.
The next day at the cocktail party, the Onyeka versus Nicole saga continues. It all started when Nicole sat down with Underwood and revealed that Onyeka’s claims couldn’t be farther from the truth. To top it off, she says Onyeka is bullying her.
Underwood doesn’t know who or what to believe, so he steals Onyeka away to clear the air. She fires right back at Nicole, claiming she’s a liar and trying to bring her down.
When Onyeka returns to the group, she confronts Nicole one more time, and Underwood has had enough. So, he approaches the duo and tries (and fails) to butt in. Fed up, Underwood walks off just as the camera fades to black.
On the bright side, Demi didn’t do anything crazy this week. The Bachelor returns to ABC next Monday, February 11, at 8 p.m.
