The Best Halloween Candy of All Time, Super Scientifically Ranked from Trash to Tasty

Congratulations. You trick-or-treated at the actual devil’s house and made it out alive.

If you’re seeking saccharine-sweet flavor for seconds followed by tough-to-chew disappointment...well, look no further.

It’s like they’re not even trying to get your attention. I’m almost sorry I dissed that box of raisins.

Personally, I think they taste like toothpaste, but not everyone feels the same. Assistant Editor Delia Curtis wants justice for Junior Mints: “They’re like mint chocolate ice cream in a box. Refreshing and not overly sweet, the dark chocolate coating mellows out the mint and, in my opinion, makes it a sophisticated candy option.”

Not to be rude, but I’m shocked these ranked so high in CandyStore.com’s list. They’re just…spicy.

While sour candies have my heart (see no. 4 on this list), these are a little too big and a little too plain. Moving on.

Is it just me or is this the chintziest of all candy bars? Plain old nougat…it’s just meh. Turns out, I’m not alone: “Musketeers are just a knock-off version of Snickers, and I'll die on that hill,” Beauty and Cultures Editor Chelsea Candelario says. “Since it’s missing the peanuts and caramel (like Snickers), it just lacks any sort of taste. Yuck.”

This would be ever so slightly better if it were enrobed in chocolate. It just feels a little...anticlimactic.

Great baseball player? Yes. Great candy? Not so much. This one loses points for its sloppy appearance and the fact that I have to Google what it’s made of every single time (for the record, it's peanuts, caramel, milk chocolate-flavored nougat and chocolate).

Remind me, why did they need to ruin perfectly mediocre chocolate with surprise bits of mystery gravel?

If I’m in a dark movie theater, sure, I’ll down an entire king-size box of these. But on Halloween, my standards are suddenly much, much higher.

He’s good, but not, like, amazing. Unless you enjoy plain old chocolate and peanuts, in which case, you do you.

Does anyone actually like the plasticky chewing gum that lurks in the center of these things? I didn’t think so.

It’s all fun and games until you think you’re biting into a root beer bottle cap and it turns out to be an orange one that tastes like medicine. Give me treats, not tricks!

Had I wanted to eat chalk for dessert, I would’ve done so when my kindergarten teacher wasn’t looking.

Listen, these peanut-nougat bars are just fine, if settling for fine on the most sugary holiday of the year is your thing. But turn them into Snickers dip and now you’re talking.

I’d kinda sorta like these fall-ified lollipops—if they didn’t threaten to rip my teeth clean from my mouth in one go. Eat at your own risk, folks.

It’s not that Jolly Ranchers are inherently bad (minus the grape ones, those are the worst); it’s just that as a society, we could do so much better. (C’mon, who wants their Halloween candy to be hard candy?)

I’m not a chocolate snob, but I do think these are the Michael Bluths of the Halloween candy haul: Fine…but pretty boring compared to the rest of the family. (The one exception—and this is crucial—is if the neighbor is giving out full-size chocolate bars. Gimme!)

We’ll admit that these sugar tablets are really only good when eaten in threes...or the entire roll shoved in your mouth at once.

Coconut and dark chocolate felt sophisticated in childhood, and TBH, it still does today. “Say what you will about Mounds, but coconut and dark chocolate will always be music to my taste buds,” says Senior Commerce Editor Stephanie Maida. “Though I’ll be honest, I only really started loving these as a grownup.”

Sure, these caramel-chocolate bites are pretty inoffensive in the grand scheme of things. But they’re certainly not *Milk Duds.*

These guys are a little fruity, a little waxy and taste like something my grandpa would keep in his pocket for “emergencies.” All things considered, I do have a soft spot for the vanilla ones.

See above. Slightly waxy, vaguely chocolaty and found in a grandparent’s jacket pocket, they’re a Halloween classic. Nothin’ wrong with that.

Nonbelievers will say this Halloween candy is chalky and boring, but I must disagree. Plus, have you ever had the chewy kind?

Add eating these to the list of things your dentist wants you to stop doing. They taste like pure sugar in the best way possible.

I’ll never know how these flavors got to share a package with those delicious pink guys, but I suppose it could be worse. (See number 45.)

Real talk: I would prefer Almond Joys if they were made with, well...zero almonds. (If you agree, might I suggest their British cousins, Bounty bars?)

This is the only kind of worm I want to see in my Halloween candy, to be quite honest. The chewy-yet-soft texture is so dreamy.

I've tasted the rainbow, and I’m so glad they replaced that cursed green apple nonsense withe the original lime flavor. (Bonus points if you get a sour bag.)

Getting a mystery flavor Airhead is like winning the Halloween candy lottery. (Rumor has it that it's a combination of a few other Airheads flavors.)

What the heck are Nerds? They’re tiny, crunchy bits of sugar that you can pour straight into your mouth. And that’s why I love ’em so.

Listen, we’ll trade you six green M&M’s for three red ones. We know all the colors taste the exact same...or do they?

What’s the opposite of a dud? Perfection? Yeah, they should rename these. OK, maybe not, but you get the idea.

Strawberry Twizzlers are in a league of their own—especially compared to regular licorice. And that, friends, is a very good thing.

Break me off a piece of that. Or just give me a whole one, please and thank you. I don’t actually want to share my Halloween candy bar with anyone.

Finding one of these in your Halloween candy bag is like finding an all-marshmallow box of Lucky Charms—a diamond in the rough, if you will.

I don’t even care that it’s not “real” white chocolate, or even chocolate at all. Haters, stay back. “Regular Hershey’s is fine,” Candelario says, “but the Cookies and Cream flavor is so much better. It has the right amount of cookie crumbs in each bite.”

I would go to great lengths to get my hands on pink Starbursts. Good thing they make bags full of just the good stuff now, so I don’t have to painstakingly pick them out myself anymore.

If you didn’t get one of these hopelessly stuck in your molars, did Halloween really even happen? (Apologies to dentists all over the world.)

Is it the most polarizing of all the Halloween candy? Perhaps. Do I love it more than the holiday itself? Forever and ever.

Would I dip my fingers in the sugary dust that settles at the bottom of the bag? Let’s just say the answer isn’t no.

I appreciate how hard they’re trying with five different components in one bar. And to be honest, I’ll eat anything that involves pretzels, peanut butter and caramel. “For an indecisive Gemini like myself, this treat is a true gift,” says VP of Editorial Content Candace Davison. “It’s got smooth peanut butter, gooey caramel, salty (and crunchy) pretzels, and it’s all covered in chocolate. It’s an overachiever, and I fully support it.”

Keep your new Halloween candy, because I want the classics. This crunchy cookie/gooey caramel situation is universally satisfying—the Tom Hanks of treats, if you will.

There’s simply no denying that this is the best Halloween candy of all time. Salty, sweet and color-coordinated to the holiday. “Everything from Reese’s pumpkin-ready shape to its bright orange packaging screams Halloween,” says Maida. “It was made to reign supreme in the trick-or-treat arena.” Candelario agrees: “Reese’s will ALWAYS be top tier in my book. Also, for some reason the mini Reese’s taste better than the regular size. Maybe it’s just me?”