30 Things You'll Get Only If You're from New Jersey

1. Our official mascot should be the holy trinity of pork roll, egg and cheese (aka the Taylor ham sandwich). Don’t knock it ’til you’ve tried one.

2. We have a peculiar combination of pride and self-loathing about our state identity.

3. We know every which way to commute from New Jersey to Manhattan.

4. We define where we live based on turnpike (or parkway) exits.

5. And by malls. Are you near Cherry Hill, Bridgewater, Palisades, Freehold Raceway or Short Hills?

6. No one calls it “Joisey.”

7. But some of us do have some funny pronunciation. Repeat after us: wudder (water) and begel (bagel).

8. We don’t know how to pump our own gas. And we’re not sorry about it.

9. In some places, people hang out at coffee shops. We hang out at diners.

10. New Yorkers can have their $4 lattes. We’ll take Wawa coffee (and hoagies) any day.

11. North and South Jersey might as well be different states. And Central Jersey has an identity crisis.

12. No, that’s not raw sewage you’re smelling. It’s just Elizabeth.

13. It’s down the shore, people. And no, we’re not talking about that reality show that ruined our rep forever.

14. Cape May is Victorian perfection.

15. It’s where we get our hoagies delivered to us right on the beach.

16. We don’t like Bennys and Shoobies (you know…tourists from NY and PA) crowding our beaches in the summer.

17. But we’re happy to play host to the Jets and the Giants at East Rutherford’s MetLife Stadium.

18. In New Jersey, if it moves, there’s a tax on it. Except clothes. So we buy a lot of them.

19. We don’t really believe in the Jersey Devil…but Chris Christie is real.

20. But the Pine Barrens are most definitely haunted.

21. And our Garden State peaches, tomatoes and blueberries are undoubtedly the best in the country.

22. We know better than to make left turns. That’s what jug handles are for.

23. Speaking of jug handles, they’re a rite of passage. And boy is it fun watching out-of-towners trying to figure them out.

24. It’s impossible to avoid toll roads. That’s why we all have EZ-Pass.

25. Atlantic City should be reserved exclusively for bachelorette parties…and the Miss America pageant.

26. We’re not all mobsters and corrupt politicians, as The Sopranos and Boardwalk Empire might have you believe.

27. But we do know a lot of guys named Tony.

28. Snooki isn’t actually from NJ.

29. Bruce Springsteen is. He’s called “The Boss” for a reason.

30. And we’ll always heart Bon Jovi.