I Have a Wild Theory After That Explosive 'White Lotus' Season 3 Premiere—and I Really Hope It's Not True

Though we don't see a lot of the body, we also don't see any blood in the water. Maybe it has dissipated, sure. Or maybe there's no blood because the person wasn't shot—they were poisoned. After all, there was a very over-the-top mention of a poisonous fruit after Saxon (Patrick Schwarzenegger) picked one up and almost ate it. And if there's anything I know about The White Lotus, it's that there are no accidents or throwaways. Of course, it's possible the poison is used in some other manner, but for now, I'm concerned it may be the future murder weapon.

And a non-gunshot death here wouldn't be the first misdirect in White Lotus history. After all, in season two, we're to assume that a body washes up after a murder. But we later discover that the cause of death was actually a head injury/drowning brought on by a clumsy Coolidge attempting to escape a yacht full of killer gays.

But if the gunfire isn't the weapon, then who is randomly shooting? Well...

I think it's the monkeys. Or more specifically, one monkey. Seriously.

Very early in the episode we see the monkeys climbing and exploring. Carrie Coon's character is in awe of them and there are mentions of them not being dangerous. Sure, Jan... And Belinda is quite skittish around the wildlife, hinting that maybe the wildlife really does pose a bigger threat that we think.

My theory is that a monkey has gotten hold of Gaitok's gun and doesn't know what it's doing. It is just firing at random, which is why it seems like there's no rhyme or reason to the shots. Where could they be coming from? The literal trees! It would explain why there appears to be a sniper that no one can quite spot.

Do I want this theory to be true? Absolutely not. I would much prefer a fabulous shootout a la Tanya's final yacht scene. And I want the body to be that of Greg (#justicefortanya) and I don't care how it gets there, as long as it's in a painful manner.

All that said, I'll be watching to find out if the monkey really did it...

New episodes of The White Lotus air Sundays on Max.

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