I Turned 40, The Disney Channel Turned 40 and Everything Is Terrible

Turning 40 wasn’t the emotional disaster I feared it might be. When I reached the elder-millennial milestone just a few weeks back, I found myself…surprisingly chipper. Rather than feeling old, I felt grateful. Rather than questioning my life choices thus far, I took stock of all the things I’ve done right. Rather than panic, I bought myself a martini and sat with my thoughts (sitting is one of my favorite activities now that I’m in my forties).

And several weeks after ringing in the big 4-0, I discovered that I wasn’t the only one celebrating this occasion. The Disney Channel is also turning 40—as it turns out, the network began broadcasting on April 18, 1983, mere weeks after I made my own debut.

The standouts for me? There was 1989’s Chip ‘N Dale: Rescue Rangers, featuring a crime-fighting pair of chipmunks. (Perhaps this was the first sign I’d be obsessed with true-crime shows 30+ years later.) And then, of course, the Disney Channel’s airing of DuckTales, which first appeared on the service in 1987. Donald Duck’s famous nephews Huey, Dewey and Louie went to stay with their granduncle, the rich and famous Scrooge McDuck. What ensued were 100 episodes of solving mysteries, thwarting villains after Scrooge’s money and referencing famous historical works like those of Shakespeare and Greek mythology. (My own introduction to Shakespeare, who I would go on to study in college, occurred in a DuckTales episode titled, “Much Ado About Scrooge,” and involved the works of playwright Drakespeare.) I loved these shows—and I loved the Disney Channel. Finally, a network devoted solely to content that appealed to me.

And so, upon discovering that T.D.C. would be turning 40 this year, I turned to Google to deep-dive into what I assumed would be a nostalgia-fest. But strangely and surprisingly, every “Best Disney Channel Shows” roundup was a list of shows I’d never heard of—or at best, I had heard of in passing after I was already in my twenties and beyond.

Indeed, Buzzfeed and Collider made no mention of Rescue Rangers or DuckTales (or Drakespeare) but were all about Wizards of Waverly Place, Phil of the Future (never heard of) and Hannah Montana and Lizzie McGuire (two titles I knew of but was way too old to have watched). For each of these, I had either been in college—or older—when they came out. What were these shows and why were they making up the entirety of these “Best of” lists? Seriously, nothing from O.G. Disney Channel content? Buzzfeed did include the 2017 reboot of DuckTales in its roundup, calling it “much better than the original,” something I knew was Kim-possible (a pun I’m only able to make because I spotted Kim Possible on the list, not because I know what it is). What, what, what was going on?

And this is where my existential crisis originated. Prior to this moment, 40 didn’t feel old. It just felt like a number, one I was prepared to embrace and enjoy. But suddenly, this content produced by the also-40-year-old Disney Channel did make me feel old. My nostalgic feelings for the kid-centric network were replaced by a keen awareness that I was too old for its biggest hits—hits that featured Zendaya, Hilary Duff, Selena Gomez and Miley Cyrus when they were mere children. Some of today’s biggest names in entertainment had gotten their start at a time when I was already too old to enjoy their content. It was something I guess I’d always known but never fully considered. The whole thought of it was a gut punch I wasn’t ready for.