The Definitive Ranking of Every Disney Princess

We get that it’s kind of central to the whole plot, but girlfriend’s basically asleep for the whole movie. Zzzzzzzzz…

The seven dwarfs are squad goals defined, we’ll give her that. But she should’ve known better than to eat a random apple from a scary stranger in a dark forest. That’s straight up irresponsible.

All we could think about the whole movie is how great Rapunzel would look with a bob.

She agreed to marry a guy after approximately 30 seconds, which is pretty reckless, especially compared with her regal as hell sister (more on her later). Also, she’s just kinda annoying.

Pixar’s first female lead, Merida is as wild and untamed as her hair. She also gives Katniss Everdeen a run for her money in the archery department, though she loses a few points for turning her mom into a bear.

If you can rock glass slippers without getting one blister, we commend you--even if you carelessly forget one.

Arguably the chicest of the princesses, Elsa’s side braid is what our hair aspires to be and she has magical powers. She also puts up with Anna, so major props for that.

She loves reading as much as we do, gets to hang out with cool pots and pans and showed us that looks aren’t everything when it comes to guys.

Physically impossible waist-to-hip ratio aside, Jasmine is awesome. She has a pet tiger and was not OK with her family marrying her off to some random suitor.

The only Disney princess to own a business, Tiana’s just the entrepreneurial role model we would’ve loved had The Princess and the Frog come out when we were its target audience.

Ariel has, by far, the best group of friends, the most magical hair and let’s not forget, a treasure trove of things you’d see on Antiques Roadshow. We’ll forgive her for trading her voice for a chance with a guy she barely knows, but only because Ursula is the best Disney villain. Oh, and 20 points for saving a person from drowning.

Is the movie completely inaccurate from a historical standpoint? Yes. Does that make being able to paint with all the colors of the wind or stopping an almost war between natives and settlers any less awesome? Not a chance.

Mulan is a total badass. Not only does she go to war so her elderly father doesn’t have to, but she also basically saves her whole country all while rocking a cool haircut she gave herself with a machete...a machete.