Which Adam Driver Is for You, Based on Your Zodiac Sign

Leos appreciate a good mane, and Driver sports that in his new biopic, scheduled to be in theaters in late November. The movie is based on a true story (as told in the book of the same name by journalist Sara Gay Forden); to make a long, involved, interlocking-G-clogged story short, the film stars Lady Gaga as a woman from a working-class background who marries the grandson of the founder of Gucci and then pays to have him murdered. (Leos do love their drama.) Oh, and all the luxury on display in the film is going to feel like the birthright of the king of the jungle.

Virgos are an earth sign that stay eternally devoted. Hence their appreciation for Adam, the oddball Greenpoint hipster who at Girls’s inception is initially emotionally abusive toward Lena Dunham’s Hannah. However, six seasons later he displays an abiding love for her, offering to help her raise her unborn child. He’s a frustrating, sexy, an emotional child in a grown-up man’s body who is full of energy and effort and confused desire. And Virgos have all of it since season one.

In this polarizing film, Driver stars as a Los Angeles shock comic who falls in love with an opera singer who gives birth to their child, Annette, played in the film by a puppet. Oh, and he rides a motorcycle. And gives oral sex while singing but also has a dark side. So all you people-pleasing Libras out there—you will be able to handle this mercurial character.

Evil Baddie or misunderstood man child who couldn’t measure up to the majesty of having Carrie Fisher—um, Princess Leia Organa—as a mom? This character, part of the Star Wars cycle and shown here in a still from The Last Jedi, appeals to Scorpios, since they love a powerful bad boy and are willing to overlook his troublesome tendencies (in Kylo Ren’s case a serious bloodlust and interplanetary monomania). Well, everyone has some baggage!

The new men’s fragrance Burberry Hero was launched this summer with this bizarre ad directed by Jonathan Glazer, the man whose claim to fame is morphing naked Scarlett Johansen into a repulsive space alien in Under the Skin. For Burberry Hero, Driver runs down the beach, mounts a horse then appears as a centaur, so duh, this is really going to be one for the curious, energetic and centaur symbol Sagittarius.

This sign loves a good joke and even finds it intoxicating. So she’ll appreciate the long set-up and big payoff to John Oliver’s running gag starring Adam Driver. In the 2020 season finale, Adam Driver appeared via FaceTime on John Oliver’s show to confront the political comedian about a recurring bit in which Oliver would share masochistic fantasies he had about the actor, often bringing him up apropos of nothing to suggest he “crush my rib cage, you load-bearing behemoth.” Driver forcefully asks Oliver to stop with the creepy shtick, until he realizes Oliver is enjoying being dominated by him. “And now random people on the internet ‘stan’ us, claiming that you ‘thirsting’ over me is ‘a mood,’” Driver says, simmering. “I’m sick of people stopping me on the street and asking me if I’m going to punch a hole in you like a Marriage Story wall.”

Aquarians love their family and are clever, so you’ll be pulled in by this 2017 heist caper directed by Stephen Soderbergh in which crime gang nicknamed the “Ocean’s Seven-Eleven” robs a speedway. Driver plays the Channing Tatum’s brother, a bar owner named Clyde Logan who lost the lower part of his left arm during two tours in Iraq and now wears a prosthetic arm.

Artistic and emotional, Pisceans will really respond to all the feeling in Driver’s performance in Marriage Story, Driver’s theater director is a flawed, dynamic man who we follow through a harrowing cross-country divorce. Do you love sensitive, conflicted men? Pisces, your heart will swell just watching Driver leave it all on the screen singing a piano bar version of Sondheim’s “Being Alive.”

This 2014 comedy-drama is set at a funeral, where a large family gathers to mourn the death of their patriarch. The Aries woman is strong-willed and understands that love comes and goes quickly, so it’s best to seize the day and let tomorrow work itself out, romance-wise. So the Ram understands Driver’s character, who in this story is the youngest brother, a seeming playboy who is dating an older woman (Connie Britton) and drives a Porsche. He may not be stable, but he is appealing.

Stay with us now—he’s a mild-mannered TriState area transit bus driver named Paterson, who works in Paterson, New Jersey. And the secret is: He writes ingenious poetry that he only shares with his wife, who longs for him to publish his transcendent art so the world can share. This is the sort of stable guy a Taurus longs to find, a romantic who nonetheless wants to share his longings, not let them lead him away from her.

He’s the Jewish undercover cop sidekick to Ron Stallworth, the Black officer played by John David Washington, in this thoughtful 2018 comedy about Colorado police infiltrating the Klu Klux Klan. His do-gooder persona, even in the tense face of straight-up evil, will appeal to the hunger for social justice in Gemini—and him playing a double role will appeal to their twin nature.

In 2016, Driver hosted SNL and starred at Dr. Rockhard in a skit called “Porn Doctor.” It’s the sort of lighthearted humor that will appeal to cancers, who sometimes tend toward more biting humor. Dr. Rockhard just wants to do his job, and poor Aidy Bryant keeps interrupting with a stomachache!