10 Ways You're Spoiling Your Kids Without Even Realizing It

It’s not weird to want to cry when your kids throw Ina’s! asparagus bundles on the floor (the dog loved them, FWIW). But resist the urge to start cooking a second dinner from scratch at 6:30. An easy backup meal (Greek yogurt for all!) will just have to do…again.

Experts like Dr. Sears agree that by age four, kids are capable of dressing themselves and brushing their own teeth—with supervision, obviously. (Nothing ruins your morning like a toothpaste-smeared toilet.)

Empower kids by teaching them to do simple chores like clearing their plates after meals and straightening up their rooms after a Lego typhoon. You will actually be providing essential coping skills and strengthening their work ethic. Who knew?

RELATED: 8 Ways to Get Your Kids To Actually Do Their Chores

Step away from the flash cards. Once kids enter middle school, researchers at Harvard University Press found, parental help with homework can actually bring test scores down, not up. OMFG.

Um, Tina Fey? There’s a new bossypants in town: It’s your daughter’s bestie, and she’s hijacking their playdate. But maybe don’t jump in. Resolving her own conflicts will majorly boost your kid's confidence. Intervene only if she asks for help or a situation gets serious.

While you never want to invalidate a child’s feelings by chirping “You’re OK!” after a face-plant at the playground, kids do look to us to see how they should react after minor mishaps. Panicking or pouring on the sympathy? Not ideal. So, after his next wipeout, try acknowledging reality (“Oops! You fell…”) and offering empathy: “That must have been pretty scary.”

Ah, the public meltdown: the greatest negotiating tool in the history of humanity. Parents will go to ridiculous lengths to avoid them, and kids instinctively know it. So the next time she’s screaming for a Trolls Pez at the pharmacy or he’s going to the dark side over that Chewbacca mask in aisle 9, try to ride out the storm in a quiet corner (or your car) rather than reinforce the behavior. You'll be far less likely to see a repeat performance.

It’s tempting to commemorate an accomplishment (“You passed your swim test, yay!”) with a new toy. But celebrating their success with genuine, specific praise (“I noticed how hard you worked on your backstroke”) has more character-building benefits than any Hatchimal.

Yes, of course you should constantly interact with a baby—her language and social development depend on it. But as our kids enter toddlerhood, encouraging up to 15 minutes of solitary play is, well, encouraged. The benefits? Creativity, critical thinking and (there’s that word again) confidence.

RELATED: 9 Easy Ways to Stimulate a Baby’s Mind and Body

No should mean no. Not “Probably not but maybe, we’ll see.” Kids feel secure when you consistently set limits—with enough repetition, they’ll be less likely to test those limits. When you waver, it signals to them to negotiate (or scream) to see if they can get what they want. So if you resolve to cut out snacks before dinner, stand your ground. Then they will eat Ina’s asparagus, so help us Jeffrey.